Resolutions
January 1, 2009
My New Year’s Resolution lasted exactly twelve hours and thirty-seven minutes. A new record. All because I didn’t bother asking for any help.
Doesn’t really matter what my resolution was. Nothing major or life-altering. I’ve learned my lesson in that regard. There is a rule for making resolutions, and that is to keep them small. Manageable. I’ve tried the big resolutions, the ones that promise to change you and change you well, but the result was always still the same. “Shoot for the moon,” the expression goes. Because even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars. While that aphorism is inspiring, it isn’t very realistic. Most times you’ll miss the moon and the stars and crash somewhere in the desert.
Trust me. I know.
Still, I like the thought of bettering oneself. Of fixing the broken things in us and changing our outlook or our place in life. And that’s what resolutions are for. It is, perhaps, the only time of the year some people take an honest look at themselves: what is wrong? What will make me a better person?
And this, the big one: what should I change?
My resolution involved change. A change of behavior and habit that, while harming no one but me and even then only slightly, proved too difficult for me to do. And that’s frustrating. If I can’t even change one small thing about me, what can I change?
In a word, nothing. Me, you, the nice folks down the road, we’re all the same. We’re fallen creatures in need of a great amount of help. And without that help, we can do nothing.
Six years ago found me at a crossroads in my life. I was sick, both within and without. Ready to find the nearest tall building so I could make a slow trip up and a fast trip down. The problem? Well, the problem was that I was thirty years old and still suffering from the same problem I was at sixteen. I was tired of ignoring it, and more tired of fighting it. Every year I would vow a change, and every day after would prove that change wouldn’t be coming.
Help finally came by the counselor at church, so sat me down on one snowy day in March and told me four things.
One was that God was the only one who could change me.
Two was that God would only change me if I asked Him.
Three was that I would only ask Him if I was truly ready to change.
And four was that I would only be truly ready when the pain of staying the same was greater than the pain of changing.
I’d waited my whole life to hear those words.
I think we all want to change something about us. But it’s hard, isn’t it? Hard because change hurts. It’s work. Tough, sweaty labor that leaves us weak and exhausted. It’s easy to give up. Easy to put things off until tomorrow or next week or next year. Because let’s face it, the pain of changing is often a lot worse than the pain of staying the same.
But we aren’t called to stay the same, are we?
We are called to become more. More than we know or dream. More than we can do on our own. So don’t be afraid to ask for a little help to change, whether that help comes from a friend, a counselor, or prayer. There isn’t anyone alive who doesn’t need an ear to whisper to, a shoulder to cry on, or a pair of arms to rest in. Everyone needs help from time to time. Even God needs two mountains to make a valley.
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11 Responses to “Resolutions”
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I’m a writer whose first novel, Snow Day, will be published by FaithWords in 2010.
But don’t let that fool you. I’m just as confused as anyone.
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There really is something new to learn each day. I like the 4 things you learned from your conselor. I went to a counselor once and learned that I was good enough, I was worth enough, I was enough. Today, my verses come from Matthew:
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, or what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air. They do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For your heavenly Father knows what you need. Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:25-34 I hope to lean on someone, ask someone for help, rest and not worry this year. CArol
That church counselor really knew what she was talking about. I love her words of wisdom! Those are great.
Good point about resolutions being small; I had never considered that before. Hmmmm; this makes me consider adjusting my New Years Resolution list, maybe not all of it, but some of it.
The phrase:… And four was that I would only be truly ready when the pain of staying the same was greater than the pain of changing…..
I used to be a drug counselor. I OFTEN talked about that phrase. It was a blast from the past to read it on your blog today (I haven’t been counseling since 2001.)
It’s so true….CHANGE is so hard. We often set ourselves up for failure by expecting/demanding SUCH HUGE changes. Small, manageable goals. That’s the key.
Happy New Year, God bless!!
As I look back on my life, it was probably at about the same time you reference in your life, Billy, that I needed to hear and comprehend the four things your counselor mentioned.
I really don’t make New Year’s resolutions cuz of my disdain for failure, one, and two, because of my belief in a continual quest for change and experiencing both grace and peace each day of the year.
For me, each of the four points hits home, but I particularly like the final one – for it is when the pain of staying the same is worse than the pain of change that one may be totally transformed!
I pray that we as a blogosphere may be changed – each day – and living to change the world around us!
Grace and peace!
Chris
Greetings Billy,
I just wanted to let you know….TAG! You’re it!!
You’ve been ‘Tagged’! It’s just a little blogger friend game that goes from one blogger to the next/their friends.
Check my blog for the rules. If you’d like can copy/paste the tag photo on my blog to apply to when you play.
Blessings,
Jesse and Sarah
good words.
I like your honesty. I just do.
And with each bump in the road, we are never alone. Thank you for all of your inspiration.
Billy
Posted a link to this blog over at Red Letter Believers.
Thanks for inspiration
David
I like what you say here:
“But we aren’t called to stay the same, are we?”
Reminds me of what it means to be in the hands of The Potter, being shaped for good use despite our flaws.
I’m on the Potter’s Wheel. And while it’s an uncertain place to be, I find peace there.
Thanks, Billy. As usual, your post makes me think. I’ve been blessed.
This post kindof reminds me of a saying I once heard, “Ships are safe in the harbor, but that’s not what ships are designed for.”
It’s safe to stay the same, but it takes courage to go under God’s knife and let Him trim and whittle on us…