Billy Coffey
Billy Coffey

Waiting for home

January 27, 2009  

A father seldom thinks things through before asking his children what they want for their birthday. He just says it. He thinks their answer will be an easy one. A new doll, maybe. Or the latest action figure. But what he does not consider is that their answer may be something utterly different and much more difficult than having to run to the store the next day and plop something down in front of a cashier.

I learned all this over the weekend. “What do you want for your birthday?” I asked my daughter. Her reply?

“A sleepover!”

So. My wife and I played host to three six-year-old girls last night. Having such young children sleeping at your house and away from theirs for the first time was something for which I admit I was not prepared. For the screaming and yelling, yes. And the mess, absolutely. I was even prepared for the dent that some tiny body part knocked into the living room wall.

But I was not prepared for Curly Sue. Not one bit.

Susan was her given name. But the dark brown locks of hair that adorned her head demanded a temporary nickname. Curly Sue had never spent more than a few hours away from her parents. The likelihood of her actually staying the entire night was slim. But she was determined. Curly Sue stepped through our front door with a pillow, a sleeping bag, and a knapsack full of toys. She was there to stay.

All went well that evening. Until bedtime, that is. Then things began the sort of downward spiral that can happen when you have a house full of little girls.

It began with goodnight prayers. Girls in a circle, taking turns praying for mommy and daddy and for God to make their stomachs quit hurting from all the popcorn. When it came time for Curly Sue’s contribution, though, there was only silence.

“Do you want to pray, Susan?” asked my wife.

A tiny nod.

“Okay, go ahead.”

More silence. Then, five words: “God, I wanna go home.”

Uh-oh.

Four phone calls to her mother later, and Curly Sue decided to be strong and stick it out. She didn’t want to leave her friends, but she didn’t want to stay, either. Could everyone go with her back to her house? she asked. It wasn’t that she wasn’t having fun. Curly Sue said she was having much fun. She loved our home and having her friends around, and she really loved all the popcorn. And there was so much to do! But as much as she was enjoying herself and her surroundings, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she wasn’t where she should be.

“It’s just not home,” she told me.

The girls were asleep by eleven. By one, Curly Sue had appeared at our bedside twice. “I wanna go home,” she said. Both times.

Instinct woke me at six thirty when I rolled over and found no one beside me. I got out of bed and walked into the living room in search of my wife. I found her and Curly Sue in the rocking chair by the window, gazing out into the evaporating night.

“Just wait a bit,” my wife was telling her. “The sun’s coming, you just wait and see. And when the sun comes, it’ll be time to go home.”

Curly Sue smiled. Me, too.

Because I, too, am a little visitor in a big place, and I miss home. Oh, it’s wonderful here. Beautiful. I have fun, I’m around people I love, and there’s so much to do.

But it’s just not home. No, my home is somewhere else. Somewhere on the other side of this life. Somewhere perfect.

Like her, I’m torn. I want to go home, but I don’t want to leave anyone here, either. I want everyone to come with me so we can all have fun.

Some days, many days, I like it here. But there are days when the weariness of this world weighs on me. When I long for the day when laughter won’t be so fleeting and hope won’t be so hard to find.

Those are the days when I seem to sit by some unknown window and gaze out, trying to will the darkness to fade and the light to shine.

Because I know that when the Son comes, I can go home.

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Filed under: Christianity, heaven, living
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Comments

  • Jennifer

    What a lovely picture you’ve painted of homesickness. I’ve been a little homesick lately, too. Thank you, friend, for sharing.

  • Andra M.

    I wanna go home, but at the same time want to stay here, too.

    Lovely story.

  • lynnrush

    I love it. “…when the Son comes, I can go home.” That’s awesome.

    I wonder if little Curly Sue has any idea that she provoked such an insightful thought on your part.

    It’s awesome how you find something so meaningful in everyday little things, Billy. And then to share them with us.

    Thanks!

  • Leslie

    Gorgeous! Beautiful! Moving! Inciteful! Okay, enough adjectives already.
    Loved your post!

  • janelle

    I hate crying so early in the day – makes my eyes burn all day long.

    Wonderful post Billy – thank you.

    On a side note, a few years ago when our daughter was about 9-10 she asked for a rainbow for Christmas. Have you tried buying one of those? We did find a poster with a rainbow on it but I’m pretty sure that’s not what she was hoping for.

  • Chris Godfredsen

    Seems like we are both thinking about home today. Didn’t see your post until after I hit “publish” on mine. I love my wife, my family and my friends. I love my life, but am feeling a bit homesick today myself!

    Be blessed in all you do, in the living and in the waiting!

  • nAncY

    good post.

  • Sockrma18

    Wow! Great post! And I can just see your wife, rocking her, telling hor how soon enough she will be allowed to go home. What a beautiful picture.

    Glad you get to hang out here for awhile and make this place a better one with your wisdom.

  • L.L. Barkat

    For me, what resonates is the wanting… of things incompatible with one another… how odd we humans are, to want in two directions at the same time.

  • Lorrie

    And I will say in my little girl voice… “you made me cry!”

    Great post.

    Blessings galore :-)

  • Carol

    How beutiful is that? I was just missing my mama so much today….I haven’t cried for a while…today must be the right day to let it all out. Tears fall as I type. As I get older, home is getting closer. I sure hope the reunion is all it has been said to be. I am up for that party! Carol

  • God’s Not Finished With Us Yet…

    Why do you always make me want to cry??? I hate that. :D

    Once when I had to explain to my 5 year old daughter what heaven was like I told her ‘It’s like right now we are on earth and have a grand land and lots of places to go, visit, and vacation. But in heaven it’s like a bird who was always in their bird cage where they were content, because they never knew the outside of it, but later they were freed and left the cage, exploring the never ending bliss before them.’

    I too, get homeschool from time to time, wondering about being under His presence yet I am grateful that He is patient because I know of so many other’s that are lost, waiting to be saved….my mom is the first that comes to mind.

  • Tracy

    Oh my goodness, you nearly made me cry! What a lovely story and illustration. Thank you for sharing this with us! Blessings!

  • jasonS

    That was beautiful and you made me involuntarily smile, which admittedly isn’t all that hard.

    Very, very nice.

  • hope42day

    Your posts are amazing and always go straight to my heart. The emotion that is conveyed in your words is truly a gift. I look forward to reading your posts. To me it is a little bit like coming home. Thank you. I continue to pray that some how, some way your words get published.

  • sharilyn

    beautiful post, billy. it is so very true…that longing for what is to come…that thing, that place that our hearts know as home, that place we once knew but from which we were torn when we were cast from the Garden…and yet, our hearts know…what we were created for…and we long…for the time when we can be there again…walking with the Father, side by side, knowing and being known…

    “If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. If none of my earthly pleasures satisfy it, that does not prove that the universe is fraud. Probably earthly pleasures were never meant to satisfy it, but only to arouse it, to suggest the real thing.” ~C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory