ILUVME
February 12, 2009
I was sitting at an intersection yesterday, passing the time between stop and go by studying the car in front of me. Vehicle: a rusty, broken, and tired Toyota. Driver: young lady, no more than seventeen and blissfully unaware of her surroundings. A sound system that was worth much more than the car itself vibrated everything from the windows to the doors to the license plates.
Vanity plates, of course. If you’re seventeen and cool, vanity plates are a requirement.
They also say a lot about a person. Vanity plates are tiny windows into a personality, a creative assemblage of letters and numbers that offer a glimpse into what matters most to the owner.
And it was pretty obvious what mattered most to that young lady. Her license plate used the term “vanity” in a more literal way.
ILUVME, it said.
I shook my head and grinned in an I-can’t-believe-this sort of way. ILUVME? Really?
A little arrogant, I thought. Then again, maybe there was much to love in being her. Maybe she really did love herself, and justifiably so. Maybe who she was, what she knew, and the direction her life was going was so perfect, so wondrous, that loving herself was natural and right and good.
Ha.
If true, then she should give herself a little time. Five years or so. Maybe ten. Let her grow up a little and get out into this big, beautiful world. Let her dreams crumble, her heart break, and her faith bend. Then we’ll see how much she loves herself.
I wrinkled my brow, struck by the coldness of those thoughts. Was I really that pessimistic of a person? Was I really hoping for her life to unfold such that she would one day regret putting such a thing on her license plates?
Why was I so upset because she loved herself? Was it because she possessed something I did not?
Did I love me?
An interesting question, that. Are we supposed to love ourselves? I flipped through the pages of my mental Bible for any scripture that confirmed or denied that question, but nothing stood out (though, admittedly, the pages of the Bible I hold in my head are not nearly as complete as the pages of the one I hold in my hand).
But I did know this: whether I was supposed to or not, I certainly did not love me. I knew my weaknesses and faults. The hidden things I thought and said and did. I knew what I paid attention to and what I did not. The struggles I faced, the times I feared and worried and doubted too much. What and who I hated. I knew, more than anyone else, the kind of person I was.
And that was not the sort of person anyone could love. Should love.
Besides, the point of life isn’t to be content with the person you are, right? No, it’s to try to do and be a little better every day. To keep becoming. That’s tough to do when you’re happy with who you are. When ULUVU.
Still, something bothered me. Wouldn’t hating yourself for who you are, for what you feel and think and do, be just as bad?
My thoughts were interrupted by the stoplight turning green. ILUVME turned left, and as I watched her I realized she was pulling into the parking lot of a church. Black letters that spelled out GOD IS OUR FRIEND glittered in the sun on the marquee at the entrance.
Yes. God is our friend. My friend. So powerful that He could do anything, He chose to die for me. So omnipresent that He could be anywhere, He chose to live in my heart. My heart. Not because He had to. Because He wanted to.
Because God loved me.
Loved me despite knowing my fears and worries and doubts. Despite knowing my failures and faults. Despite knowing me better than I knew myself.
If an all-powerful, all-knowing God could love me, why couldn’t I? Why shouldn’t I?
The foundation of the Christian faith states that we are flawed beings. Sinful souls in need of a Savior. I knew that to be true. Perhaps just as true, though, was that our worth didn’t depend upon what we did or did not, but upon the spark of the Divine that gave us life. There is a beauty within us beyond our flaws and failures. A beauty worthy of our compassion, of our acceptance.
And of our love.
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14 Responses to “ILUVME”
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Amen, Billy. If we are going to live and love as Jesus desires us to live and love others, must love ourselves first…who He is in us. Perhaps that is Hallmark 3:16, I don’t know, but if we spend too much time (I am really good at this) dwelling in what we sometimes think and sometimes do, we do not allow Him to shine in and through us.
Great post and great thought to start my day!
Fantastic post! Very powerful message here. All too often we tend to look for the bad in ourselves, rather than celebrate what is good. We should strive to be better each day, and grow. But when we walk in false humility and self-loathing, we do nothing to honor our Father. Thanks for sharing your insights.
Great post, Billy. Nice way to start out my Friday.
Great post Billy!
I have spent much time in prayer and search on this very subject because of having a poor view of myself.
In Mark 13:28-31 Jesus is asked which is the greatest commandment. He tells them it is to Love God with your heart, soul, mind and strength. Then He goes on to tell them the Second is to love your neighbor “as yourself”. Here is the key I found in this scripture. You can not really love your neighbor (enemy, those that hurt you, etc) until you love yourself. We must find the place to love who we are because we are created in Gods image and He calls us beautiful and perfectly made.
My journey has been this, learning to love God completely, learning to love myself completely and now working on loving others completely.
Sorry for the long comment.
God Bless!
a lot can happen at a red light.
I know exactly what you’re talking about. I prayed for years that God would give me a love for His people and the people I serve, but it never seemed consistent.
I was having a conversation with a pastor once and the truth hit me like a ton of bricks. He relayed this: Jesus said to love your neighbor as you love yourself, but what if you hate yourself?
I saw so clearly that my love for others was hindered by my hatred of myself and it was not the view God had of me. Like you said, I know my flaws, weaknesses, and failures but the Father sees His son/Son. Great reminder-thank you!
True honesty at it’s finest. Do we love ourselves? I know I have struggled with this myself, often being disappointed or angered over something I did or didn’t do.
I think if I were behind a license plate that read ‘ILUVME’ I would frown upon it to, unless she also had stickers or emblems showing her faith in Christ as well, If she didn’t than being on the road, nobody would know her faith and the driver would come across as arrogant and self-involved. However, maybe like you said there is a story behind her license, something that God had to teach her about herself, maybe a hardship or something to let her know that since ‘I (God) loves you’ than you should love what I created; you.
wonderful post Billy! it made me think of a book a dear friend gave me at a time I really needed to hear the message of which was (and is)
God created you for GOOD! He created us for fellowship with Himself!
Yes we struggle with the flesh and do have a sin nature but we must always remember He created us for good, and He will be faithful to complete the work that He began in us.
God Bless,
Tina
She was in a ‘rusty, broken old Toyota’ and still she loved herself. What I found interesting about this was how many of us are in that type of body? But even with the license of God, love of self is not evident. I believe in order to fully love, I have to love myself, despite the rust, the cracks, the dents and sometimes the flat tires.
I think it takes audacity to hate what God loves. We pretend it’s humility. But thinking continuously of how dumb, or how ugly, or how clumsy, or how unworhty I am is continuously thinking of myself. Right?
Self-hated and self-absorption are just flip sides of the same sin. Would you agree?
I can love myself because myself is all wrapped up inside of Jesus and He is easy to love.
ditto to what sherri said! that’s exactly what i was going to comment…it’s not Hallmark 3:16 but actually Jesus telling us that is who/how we are to love–love others as you love yourself. if, we don’t love ourselves, how are we able to love others well? it’s not about being “in love with” ourselves or “self-consumed” or even “self-focused,” but it is loving myself because He first loved me (1 Jn 4:19) and, out of the amazement and abundance of THAT (come on! how could/would/should the Creator of the very universe LOVE ME!?!? crazy!! but awesome! who am i to question Him?!?), being able to love others… (sorry about the long parenthetical…i got carried away just thinking about it!):)
ILUVME bcs HELUVSME…so ILUVU2!
=) Maybe it’s time to be kinder on myself.
Thank you for this post.
Such a wonderful and thought-provoking post. I’ve recently read and thought over scripture trying to discern what sort of self-love is acceptable. This is very timely for me. Thank you!
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