Billy Coffey
Billy Coffey

Life’s two sides

February 3, 2009  

Ever have one of those days? The ones when nothing seems to go right, when you start to question the very value of your existence and wonder if there is actually a point to anything?

I had one of those days yesterday.

Confusion is often our constant companion. Our eyesight and the extent of our understanding reach no further than the present moment. It’s hard to see how some things could ever possibly work out for the good. Rather than nice and neat, our lives are tangled and messy. Full of knots.

These were the things preying on my mind when I arrived home this afternoon and found my wife cross stitching.

Cross stitching is an art, I think. No less than painting or composing a poem, it demands much in the way of effort and time, of undoing and redoing. Yet my wife finds it relaxing in a meditative sort of way. The fruits of her labor adorn the walls of our hallway, where past creations have been framed and displayed for the world to see.

She sat patiently, running her needle and thread up and over and down, as I vented the constant frustration that is my life. Then she got up, kissed me on the cheek, and suggested that maybe a cup of coffee was in order.

My depression glued me to the couch. Then I noticed the cross stitch she had sat on the chair.

A teaching career and two children had limited the amount of time my wife could devote to her hobby. It looked to me as if she had lost her touch. Really, really lost it.

Thread lines were arranged in a hodgepodge of clusters and colors that zigged and zagged with no discernible pattern. Knots of various sizes dotted a maze of tangles that seemed to have neither a beginning nor an end. This was a mess. A catastrophe. And just about the ugliest thing I had ever seen in my life.

But just when I began to seriously question my wife’s mental stability, I noticed something. She had placed the cross stitch face down. I was looking at the wrong side.

I took the material in my hand and turned it over. Sure enough, the colors there were blended to form one seamless picture. No tangles. No knots. Just perfect.

That’s when I understood.

There were two sides to life. There was a side we faced, a side that on the surface appeared tangled and confused, where thick knots dotted the landscape and colors zigged and zagged with no apparent purpose.

But beneath that jumbled surface, beyond the reach of my eyes, there was another side. The side God sees. Where the tangles were transformed into intricate designs of perfection and colors seamlessly interacted and flowed. Where there was no confusion, no zig or zag, but a complete, flawless piece of art.

We all pray for God to undo our knots. What rational person wouldn’t? But as I turned the cross stitch over and back and over again, I realized that the knots in my life served a purpose I had never considered. They had to be there. Otherwise, a color might have been gone or a pattern may have been incomplete. The tapestry of my life would be missing something valuable. A knot wasn’t just a knot, whether it was in a cross stitch or a life. It was simply where one part of the picture ended so another could begin.

I couldn’t see how it all fit together because on my side and from my vantage point it didn’t. But from God’s vantage point, everything was coming along just fine. And who was I to argue, really? I was merely the material. God was the Weaver. Does the canvas tell the artist how to create? The fabric doesn’t say to the weaver, “Please, no more knots. No more tangles. It will hurt too much. I will look too ugly.”

Besides, when it was all finished, when God’s plan for me was fulfilled and my purpose in life completed, which side of the picture would He frame for the world to see?

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Filed under: doubt, living, purpose, trials
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Comments

  • Tracy

    Thank you, Billy for posting this. I can’t even begin to tell you what this means to me tonight.

  • hope42day

    God began the tapestry with 3 nails and 2 pieces of wood…stitching the cross with Jesus upon it. The final piece was framed with unconditional love as Jesus rose from the dead threading hope, love and faith in each of us to unravel the knots, the tangles and the mess our lives sometimes get into to.
    Peace and Blessings…

  • jasonS

    That’s it. Our eyes are not on what is seen, the temporary. Our eyes are on the unseen, the eternal.

    Wonderful reminder.

  • Stardust

    Hi,

    I’ve come over from Sharilyn’s place.

    I’ve read something familiar somewhere ( Our Daily Bread? ), but I’m glad for you that you’re perceiving it on your own.

    I do a lot cross-stitching, hard work, but I enjoy it. Cross-stitching is a lot like you’ve said. I’m once again reminded that the knots and tangles are necessary for the picture to complete and last.

  • sharilyn

    yes, it’s wonderful that our Father sees and loves the “back” side of our lives as much as the front…and that He can make a beautiful work of art from it all. your post got me to thinking about the knots… how, though they are the difficult, painful points in our lives, they also serve as anchors…and as points of change (like the changing of the thread colors–you have to knot one in place to change to the next…) great food for thought, billy!

  • Rebekah

    Just wanted to say hello! Thank you for visiting and commenting on my blog. I hope you have a blessed day!

  • Rebekah

    This is a wonderful post. Something so true and that I’ll have to think on. Thank you!

  • God’s Not Finished With Us Yet…

    Why must you make a womans eyes tear up even before they reach the end of your post? Don’t you know it’s hard to read when eyes are teary?? (Sniff, sniff)

    You’re wonderful wife; she sounds like such a doll and I bet it blessed me so much to hear you speak so loving about her. Also to know that you vent to her about your day; what great communication skills the two of you must have to be able to just lay everything out there and talk to one another. She sounds like a sweetie. I’d love to see you one day post a photo of you and her together, but if not my imagination will do.

    Once again, you have such amazing talent Billy! Your post had me chuckling out loud for a moment as I read you state that her work was the uglies thing you’d seen and that you began to question your wifes mental stability. What a crack up it was to read.

    Yet, a hundred times over, you’ve brought the story around to the other side, literally in this case, with turning her work over to see the grand design, just as He has always had in store for us.

    Do your kids own the DVD ‘The Prince of Egypt? One of our favorite songs is something called ‘Pattern in the Grand Design’…(I can’t remember the exact name) but it fits your post perfectly….try to watch it with your kids soon if you can.

    Beautiful, beautiful post!

    Oh, and thanks for your comment on my site just now….I’ve been up literally all night because I can’t stand the smell in our house, plus the fall I took still hurts. :D No worries though!

    Again, AWESOME AND MOST TALENTED POST! I’m going to ask my husband to read it and I BET he’ll tear up too; he’s sensitive like I am.

  • Chris Godfredsen

    Right on, Billy! Two sides – ours and God’s. I pray that the ugliness of my life is somehow a beautifully woven story on His side and that story somehow brings Him Glory.

    The image he is weaving through you on this blog is a sight to behold! Be blessed today.

  • God’s Not Finished With Us Yet…

    Yup, I was right, big Jesse got a little emotional; didn’t cry though like I thought, but I could tell her was touched as he mumbled ‘Hmmmm’,….’Ummmm’, here and there. Then he said ‘That was extremely well illustrated and full of heart.’ He spoke the words slowly as he gathered his thoughts together about your post.

    Be blessed,
    ~Sarah

  • Lore

    Yup. What you said.

  • lynnrush

    Wow.

  • Leslie

    YOU, my friend, definately have the gift of discernment. I pray that one day, God will give me the “eyes” to see the message hidden in the simple, everyday goings-on in life.
    Thanks for ALWAYS giving us such inciteful messages!

  • Jennifer

    You have a gift for seeing God in the ordinary things of life. Because that’s where He is. So often we Christians tend to look for him in the steeples, the altars, the high and lofty places. When, in fact, He is our constant companion on the “back side” of our life.
    Thanks for sharing your wisdom.

  • Red Letter Believers

    Great post my friend.
    Two sides.
    I know it. but I don’t see it.

  • Travis

    This is an important post. Thanks!

  • nAncY

    just the words i needed to hear, billy.

    praise God.

  • The Unknown Contributor

    I’m going to bookmark this post in my mind because I know I will need to remind myself of the truth you captured so well today.

  • Sockrma18

    YOU ROCK. GOD BLESS YOU!!!!!

  • L.L. Barkat

    Nice metaphor. I can certainly relate to being knotty. :)

  • Sherri Watt

    Billy,

    Another great post. You have a gift for telling a story.

    Also, thanks for your comment on my blog yesterday. You are a great writer and I consider what you wrote a great compliment coming from you. What I am able to write is only by the grace of God.

    God Bless!

  • pam at beyondjustmom

    Lovely. It’s always hard to understand how God loves us even when he knows all of our faults. You provide an image to hold onto. Thanks.

  • sojourner

    very nice