Facing the Truth
March 19, 2009
The radio is on in the background right now. Not music, though. Talk.
Talk radio can be a very informative thing so long as you accept the fact that whatever is being said is much like what you’ll get on television. It’s not news per se, just someone else’s opinion of the news. The downside is that you tend to get the impression that the only person in the entire world who knows the truth is the person who happens to be in front of the microphone. The upside is that sometimes you get a little something to write about. Like this time, for instance.
The gentleman on the radio at the moment happens to be one of the most listened-to people in America. Though I don’t listen every day and don’t agree with everything he says, I will admit he has quite a way of saying it. His voice and his opinions have earned him a lot of money and a lot of power.
Though he enjoys much more success and influence than most of us ever will, there is always a little room for improvement. A poll was taken recently that showed his audience consisted of many m ore men than women. The reasons for this gap between male and female intrigued him. What faults did women find in him? What was it they didn’t like? Was it a personality thing? Worse?
So today, he is in the midst of what he has called a Female Summit. All calls coming in must fit two specific criteria—they must be women, and they must articulate exactly what it is about him they find so offensive.
This has been going on for about an hour now, and I think this poor man has gotten more than he bargained. There have been calls regarding his abundance of coarseness to those whose opinions differ from his own. And his abundance of pride. And his abundance of self-satisfaction. And just to even things out a bit, there have also been plenty of calls about what he is lacking. Consideration, for instance. And manners. Self-control, too.
Never let it be said that women will not offer hard and uncompromising truthfulness when asked to do so.
In theory, the Female Summit has been a rousing success. In application, though, maybe not so much. Because rather than take the honest criticism, the man on the radio has spent the vast majority of his time defending himself. It’s not his fault, you see. It’s the media or his enemies or the fact that he’s been battling a cold lately.
Which as gotten me thinking: would I want to do this? Would I really want to what other people think of me? On the surface, yes. Having the truth of how others really see me would be very informative. It would highlight whatever good points I might have that I may be unaware of, and it would allow me to work on those rough parts of me that I, for whatever reason, either gloss over or ignore.
Sounds good in theory. But in application? Not so much.
Because like this very intelligent and successful man on the radio, I’d probably spend a lot more time defending myself than humbly accepting criticism. Because deep down, no matter how much I might want to know the truth about me, I want to believe the lies I tell myself more. Like how I’m just fine, thank you. And how there is nothing I really need to change about me, but there sure is a lot everyone else needs to change about them. I’m okay. It’s the rest of humanity that’s messed up.
Do I really believe this? No. Just the opposite, in fact. But like the smart man on the radio, my pride gets in the way of me being a better me sometimes.
We could all improve ourselves, I think. We could all be better. But changing who you are, even if it’s for the better, is a painful process. Someone once told me that no one ever changes until the pain of changing becomes less than the pain of staying the same. Those are wise words.
I don’t know if this radio show will have a Female Summit next year. Right now, the odds seem pretty small. No one wants to spend three hours in front of a national audience rationalizing the things they do and say. I think this man wanted to change, I really do. And I think he believes he can change. But change won’t come just because we think we can. It comes only when we believe we must.
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I’m a writer whose first novel, Snow Day, will be published by FaithWords in 2010.
But don’t let that fool you. I’m just as confused as anyone.
And that is fine with me, because the great thing about wandering around in the fog is that you never know what you might run into.
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my pride gets in the way of me being a better me…
these words made me think that, with me, pride really is used to keep myself from changing for the better, or for how someone else might see something about me that would be good for me to change.
This all reminds me of the Super Bowl episode of The Office where Michael gets roasted. rofl
“Never let it be said that women will not offer hard and uncompromising truthfulness when asked to do so.” So true. I have a friend back at home who is making the dumbest decision of her life thus far. I would elaborate, but broadcasting this choice of hers on a blog is not a good thing to do. Anyway, I bring up my friend and her decision because all week long, I’ve been telling her to not do it and telling her how stupid she is and I have not held back. Hard and uncompromising truthfulness.
Oh wow! I have no idea who you’re talking about…I never listen to talk radio. But yikes, he’s either brave or stupid to ask females to call in like that.
We’re known to talk, you know?
Billy, you’re so right, I’m quick to defend when faced with criticism. I wish I would be quick to hold my tongue and listen, though!
As Iron Sharpens Iron, right?
Change is hard, and it seems receiving correction or criticism even harder. I think it does take an act of will to receive and to change. And yes, pride stands in the way quite often. But nevertheless, it can be done, and we’re usually much better for it. At least I have been.
Once more a great post! Thanks!
“Which as gotten me thinking: would I want to do this? Would I really want to what other people think of me?” I could buy into it.
I spend a lot of time wondering what people think of me.
My freind says, What others think of me is none of my business. LOL I have to take on that attitude sometimes.
I like this post, Billy. It’s an interesting thing to think about.
I wonder if I’d do the same thing your radio host is doing, if it were KM/gzusfreek being roasted.
In the early days of sobriety, I had to learn to trust others – never an easy thing to do when you know yourself to be a liar and fear others. In the process of learning to trust others, I also had to learn to accept both praise and constructive criticism. It was not easy then, and though it is somewhat easier now, that which sustains me in the process is the memory of a passage of scripture, something to the effect that the fool rejects the input that the wise man humbly accepts.
I need not agree with everything being told to me about me – but I have a responsibility to listen and, at times, to solicit such input. I may not always like what I hear, but to not hear from those I trust and value (as opposed to the crowd) invites disaster, kind of like ignoring warning signs…
I too listen in the evenings, when I happen to be in the car, to a talk show on our local Christian Radio station. One night it talked about raising your children, like different pieces of canvas, each with his/her own qualities….I think I sort of did that. Last night, it was marriage. Hit a few nerves on that one, but good to ponder once in a while, so talk on, listen on, and keep the prayers flowing to the one who can change hearts. Enjoy reading your thoughta. Carol
thought provoking site, I will continue to read, I think!!! The picture of you overlooking the blue ridge is breath taking.
The insatiable need to be liked… never understood that. But, for the most part people SEEM to like me. So I suppose I wouldn’t.
But people also don’t feel threatened to say if something is on their mind about a decision I’ve made, or something I’ve said.
Truth of the matter is, I’m wrong A LOT! But so what… that IS how we change, how we evolve. Or at least how I do…
Thanks for stopping into my site… I like to throw in a few of the ‘little things’ as they are precious gifts! peace! Cindy
Hey Billy, great post!
It is so easy to give criticism, yet so hard to take it. I, for one, would not want to open myself up for criticism in that way.
But, at the same time, I have learned to (I hope) graciously accept input on things that I need to improve from people I trust, particularly my husband, but also family and some of the women at church.
I am also learning (slowly) not to let negative, unwarranted criticism overburden me with second-guessing myself or unnecessary guilt.
Hi Billy! I don’t know how you found me either, but I’d love for you to follow and stay in touch. I need some testosterone on my friend list (ha). I think there are a couple of guys on there … but just a couple.
My husband loves talk radio too.
Hope you will visit again.
Beth
Pride is my biggest struggle as well, but God, the ever patient and faithful one knocks my ego down when I need it — which is often.
By the way, I gave you two blogging awards! Please see my blog (www.almarquardt.com/blog) for more info.
I like to think of change as evolving. It is scary as well because it means leaving the comfort zone behind. Sometimes it takes baby steps, honesty from someone we trust, and also like you said, we believe we must. There is a quote that says, ‘if nothing ever changed there would be no butterflies’. But, how many, including the radio host, are willing to risk the person we are to give change a chance to transform us into the person we could be.
i have enjoyed reading some of your posts today..(some because i’m trying to limit my time online..)
it makes me think a bit..
but i think, in as much as we shdn’t let others rule our life- but there’s a thin line to blending in with social norms so we won’t stick out like a sore thumb?
Silver
from Reflections/
One Day at a Time
Many of the things I work to change in my life have their root in pride… yuk!
And thanks for the reminder that the man behind the mic is oftentimes expressing his opinion more than anything else
Um…ouch!
I know who you’re talking about. I honestly can’t believe he did that considering some of his more colorful descriptives of certain feminists and feminists groups. I actually feel bad for the guy just thinking about it! I bet his phone lines wer jammed.
“Change … comes only when we believe we must.”I apologize for being the bearer of bad tidings, but …
Even knowing I must change, and being in agony because I want to change, still isn’t enough (Romans 7:19).
Your post about the prunes in the jello? We don’t get new jello. Even when the smell of prunes makes us sick, we don’t have the power to make it go away. God’s power has to do it. And I’m not sure all the smell goes away this side of heaven.