Billy Coffey
Billy Coffey

How You Wear Your Hat

March 10, 2009  


(My thanks to Tina Dee for spotlighting me on Bustles and Spurs. If you’d like to read her post, go here.)

Now, about that hat…

I come from a long line of hat-wearers, which has little to do with the fact that all the men in my family are…uh…follically challenged. My grandfather wore a hat every day of his life. Never went out the door without one. So, too, does my father, who carries on the tradition with an array of ball caps that pronounces his allegiance to everything from the University of Virginia football team to Callaway golf clubs.

Ball caps have become my choice of head garment as well, and I own many. But I have always wanted a fedora like my grandfather’s. He loved his hat. Always made a point to lambaste me for thinking my Yankee hat was the proper equivalent to his, too. “Comparing your hat to mine,” he would say, “is like comparing Tom Cruise to Gary Cooper.”

Point taken.

When my favorite ball cap recently began to show a little excess wear, I thought it might finally be time to buy a proper hat.

Then, after the UPS man dropped it on the porch and I tried it on, I had another thought:

Maybe it’s not.

Not because I didn’t like it (I did), and not because my wife did not give her approval (she did). No, it was because of the peculiar sensation I was getting that even though I was a fedora guy on the inside, maybe I wasn’t ready to be one on the outside.

Yes, I am thirty-six. And yes, peer pressure shouldn’t matter so much anymore. Yet here I am nearly twenty years out of high school, and I have yet to rid myself of the overwhelming need to fit in. Walking around all day hearing chuckles and a chorus of “Hey Indiana”? Not fitting in.

***

I kept the hat. I suppose I could say that I did so because I loved it and decided that meant more than what anyone else would say. That would be partly true. The other part of the truth was that returning the hat would require filling out paperwork, a trip to the UPS store, and more time than I could spare. Sad, I know. But true. Which left only one other option: I could keep the hat on the shelf in my closet, hidden away from the world, and bring it out only within the safe confines of my family.

But that didn’t sound right. I am a great pretender. Adept at not revealing those aspects of myself that run contrary to the perceived norm. The real me is masqueraded daily in elaborate costumes designed to both hide and reveal depending upon my immediate surroundings. I am rarely me in public. Not wholly, anyway.

And I’m not just talking about my love for fedoras. My desire to not cause waves, to go with the flow, extends to other things. Things like my faith.

How many times have I sat with a group of friends laughing at jokes I should not be laughing at? And how many times have I been silent when I should have spoken, and spoken when I should have been silent? How many times should I have said “I’ll pray for you” rather than “It’ll be okay”? How many opportunities have I missed to point the way to Christ?

When judgment comes and the sheep are separated, how many of the condemned will shout my name and say, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

I was about to put my hat where I often put my faith. On a shelf in the closet of my life. Visible only among those close to me, where it’s safe.

Those parts of us that we hide for fear of chuckles and snorts, whether as incongruous a the love for a hat or as serious as the faith we hold true, are us. Who we are. To live any other way is to live a lie. And I for one was tired of the costumes.

***

I’ve worn both my hat and my faith the same way since: out in the open, for all to see. I’m wearing them now as a matter of fact, sitting beneath the shade of an oak at work. People pass. They smile and wave and say to those with them, “Now that’s a hat.” People like my hat. And I’m glad they do.

It’s a good start, I think. But I hope it won’t end there. Maybe soon they’ll smile and wave and say to those with them, “Now that’s a Christian.”

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Filed under: Christianity, faith, living, witness
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Comments

  • Jennifer

    The hat looks like a great fit for you. Even more so, your faith looks like it suits you well.

    I think too, Billy, that you might become a trendsetter — what with this faith that you’re wearing, how it continues to reflect the Light. Watch for imitators.

    It’s that timeless fashion of faith that has folks like Tina inviting you over for a guest post. I’m excited to see where your writing continues to lead you, Billy.

    God has gifted you with a great ability to communicate our faith. That will never go out of style.

  • casey

    What a great post! I was really drawn into your hat story before I realized that it was a picture of our faith.
    It reminds me of my daughter. She wears whatever clothes she wants to school regardless of label or fashion – Asian prints, dancewear, dressy, lazy. She just doesn’t go with the trend. So it is with her faith as well. When other teens are doing things they shouldnt, she’s babysitting kids at Bible study or teaching dance or watching reruns of Green Acres.

  • nAncY

    a beautiful fit.

  • Travis

    Billy, I welcome you to the world of long and shady brims. I can identify with your words. Even in Texas, the men who chose to wear hats are becoming the minority. And, we are laughed at by the selfish and insecure.

    Like you, when we find our security in Christ, it doesn’t matter what others think.

    Of course, I listen to my wife. She won’t let me wear a fedora, even though I own two of them. I really like them, but…it doesn’t really matter, I suppose!

  • lynnrush

    NICE!! Great story. So true, how many times have I said, “it’ll be ok” instead of “let me pray for you.”

    Too many times to count for me.

    Sad.

    But thanks for the inspiration to wear my hat for all to see!

  • Sockrma18

    It’s the ultimate compliment, I’d say.

    “Now that’s a Christian!”

    I think that of you every time I read your blog….

    “That Billy….Now THAT’S a Christian!”

    P.S. The hat looks great!

  • jasonS

    Billy, great post. I too am follically challenged, but I’ve never been into hats. Yours looks great though!

    I know what you mean about not feeling or allowing yourself to be fully there. It’s one of those things God is working on in me and amazingly, my blog is helping with some of that. Anyway, great stuff.

  • Tina

    I like the hat! Looks fabulous!

    I’ve always liked hats and am a bit sad that women don’t wear them like they did years ago….perhaps I should take your lead and investigate a hat or two and throw caution to the wind.

    In Him,
    Tina

  • gzusfreek

    “Now that’s a Christian.”

    I know it’s been said, but all I could think of was: I’ll never see the hat other than in pictures, but I see his faith –loud and clear, proudly worn as a crown — every time I visit here.

    BTW, is that a Fedora? I have ALWAYS wondered what a fedora is.
    Great hat Billy Coffey :)

  • Annie

    All of us were many hats, but the one that is the best is when the true person can fully come out with no fear. I love the post and congratulations on all of the success you are having! It is so wonderful! Your gift of faith and putting it so elegantly in words, is what the world needs now.

  • Marcus Goodyear

    It is a good hat as others have said. I had a fedora, but my head got too big for it. (Really.)

    I like the idea that being Christian doesn’t have to threaten others–any more than your wearing a fedora should threaten others. But it is okay to be completely open about it.

    As for hats, my weird hat is a bright green wool German hat with the horse hair feather and tons of wanderlust buttons. We’d make an odd pair.

  • Anne L.B.

    When judgment comes and the sheep are separated, how many of the condemned will shout my name and say, “Why didn’t you tell me?”Shifting the blame didn’t work for Adam and Eve and it won’t work for the condemned on the day of judgment. I don’t believe anyone’s going to spend eternity in hell because I failed to share the Gospel. But there’s plenty of people living in hell on earth whose lives may be changed now because of “how I wear my hat.” Your words are well taken.