Billy Coffey
Billy Coffey

Five People

April 28, 2009  

Last week Lynn Rush wrote a post on her blog about The Noticer, a new book by Andy Andrews. She took the challenge to highlight five people who have influenced her life, and then challenged us to do the same.

A few days later, Jason, whose site one of my other frequent stops in blogworld, posted the same thing. Yesterday, Tracy Keck, who also has a great blog, did the same. Anne mentioned it to me via email, too.

Good ideas get around like this, I think.

We are all in some respect products of our environment, shaped by the people and circumstances in our lives. The choices we make in life are filtered through the lenses of faith and conscience, both parts of ourselves that God strengthens and magnifies through the presence of others.

In other words, we need each other. And the easier it is for us to realize this, the better off we’ll be.

It’s in that spirit that I give my contribution:

1) My wife goes first, no doubt about it. Before her, I was a bumbling, confused, pie-in-the-sky dreamer. Now I am a bumbling, confused, pie-in-the-sky dreamer who is loved, and that makes a world of difference. Not only does she laugh at my stupid jokes and endure my occasional relapses into adolescence, she encourages me to always reach a little further and dream a little more. She’s my angel and my heart, and she believed in me long before I did.

2) My parents are the original Odd Couple. My mother’s family was Amish/Mennonite, and my father’s was Cherokee/Redneck, yet they both managed to fall in love and stay that way for almost forty years now. Both grew up poor, but it was the sort of poor that leaves you both hungry and thankful at the same time, and neither has ever forgotten that. They will do anything in the world for you, no matter who you are or what you look like. Their pictures will never grace the covers of magazines and their names will never be famous, but when they pass from this life to the next, the church will be filled with ordinary people whose lives they touched in ways innumerable. I can only hope to be so fortunate.

3) My children have taught me more about life and God than anyone I’ve ever known. You’re never prepared for what kids can do to your heart and how utterly helpless you are to do anything about it. They have awakened in me an excitement and curiosity for life that I thought adulthood had surely erased. They tell me that when they grow up, they want to be just like me. I tell them not to bother. Because when I grow up, I want to be just like them.

4) To this day I don’t know Allison’s last name, mostly because I was too shy to ask and partly because we only spoke once for about ten seconds. But God introduced us just as we were both living our lowest moments because we each needed what the other could give, and I’ll never forget her. And if you want to read that story, it’s here.

5) And last, there is one unnamed boss (who will continue to be known as such. Because you never know who’s reading your stuff, right?) I had after high school. He was the embodiment of everything I wanted to be (read: rich and successful), but it didn’t take me long to realize just how sad his life was. All the money made him paranoid, all the success made him lustful for more, and the end result was little more than a pitiable human being. But he taught me something very valuable, and that something is this: if that’s what being rich does to you, then you’re better off staying poor. Which goes to show you that not everyone who influences you for the better needs to be a good influence.

There’s my five. There are more, of course. Many more. But that’s enough to keep the train moving down the tracks.

Your turn.

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Comments

  • katdish

    My husband, my kids, my mom, dad, sisters and brother, my pastor and his wife and Mike Rowe.

    (okay, maybe not so much Mike Rowe. But if I knew him, I’m sure he’d be a big influence on me, because he is awesome.)

  • Billy Coffey

    Man, I should’ve used Mike Rowe, too.

  • Tea With Tiffany

    I’ve read lots of these “five people” blogs lately. And I love reading them. Yours included.

    I’ve read lots of books about influence over the years from various people I respect like John C Maxwell and Zig Ziglar. It’s a cool thing to read that ordinary people(young and old) matter and make a difference in the world. I’m all for acknowledging those who make a difference. I love to encourage.

    And as you pointed out those that really make a difference aren’t those in the limelight with a superstar name, it’s those lives who touch our hearts.

    I will probably do a post about this soon. It’s hard for me to pick five though. I value each person in my life for a different reason. I believe all people matter and have value. :) I know you agree.

  • sherri

    My parents-Total unconditional love.

    My sons-taught me just how strong the power of love is and daily inspire me to try something new and to DREAM BIG!

    My husband- influences me in his calming, slow pace style and teaches me that everyone has a ’story’ and I need to listen more.

    My pastor – influences me through inspirational messages and an impeccable reputation within and outside the church.

    My brother who has been seated with “royalty” and continues to reach out to the ghetto areas and truly hurting people, never seeking fame but being exalted regularly while desiring to remain anonymous.

  • Annie K

    Whoa, that’s crazy about your parents. I’m married to a Mennonite who grew up thinking he was part Navajo because his dad was adopted off of a Navajo reservation in Colorado by Mennonites. (Turns out his dad is Spanish….).

    And Katdish, that’s more than five. (She’s always breaking the rules. We can’t take her anywhere.)

  • Sarah Salter

    You said that “We are…shaped by the people and circumstances in our lives.” SO true!

    I would like to say that my whole life has been filled with sunshine, daisies, and kittens, but the truth is that people and circumstances have sometimes hurt me. But that’s okay, because it is both the hurting and the healing that shapes us. When I think of who/what has influenced me, many of the people/circumstances that influenced me the most are the ones that started out as hurt and ended up as healing.

  • Candace Jean July 16

    My husband and kids are 4 (may need to lump some together), and I’d say Katdish was #5 but that would be the “bad influence” – except for the fact that she led me to your blog. I’m going to have to think about this one. A post to ponder.

    I love “if that’s what being rich does to you, then you’re better off staying poor.” Amen.

    Thank you, Billy.

  • April

    Billy~
    That knocked my socks off! I adore your writing style and how you have a God-given talent for getting right to the heart of the matter.

    You sure have had some amazing influences in your life…all have helped form the person you are today. So glad you shared this part of yourself! Have a super day!

  • Beth E.

    I read your post about Allison. Isn’t it interesting that we seem to have the most impact and effect on people when we are struggling so hard ourselves?

    Is that impact based upon the emotions evoked… Sympathy? Empathy? When going through tough times, do we unknowingly strip ourselves of false pretenses and ulterior motives, thereby allowing people to see who we really are…someone to whom they can relate?

    What are your thoughts on this?

    Wow…you’ve got my ol’ brain working overtime…I think I smell smoke. ;o)

    Great post…I’ll have to do some thinking regarding my top five.

    Thanks!

  • Helen

    I would have to say that the five people who have most influenced my life are Gandhi, Martin Luther KIng, Jr., St. Theresa the Little Flower, Mother Theresa, and Father Damien of Molakai. Okay, not really.
    The real culprits, er, I mean inspirations are:
    1) My wonderful husband Bob, who fell in love with me because of, rather than inspite of, my sense of humor.
    2) My Daddy, from whom I got my ability to share laughter.
    3) My Momma, who could share great joy whether she was laughing or not.
    4) Mr. Randazzo, my seventh grade teacher, inspired me to become a teacher. If I were half of half as good as him, I would be awesome!
    5) Underdog. He is my role model, since I have often felt like the “under dog” and alway root for the underdog (seriously, when I was four and everyone shouted that their favorite clown was Bozo during “The Bozo Show”, I always shouted for Cookie his sidekick.)

  • Blessed Mom of 8

    Billy – I really enjoyed reading your list.

    I couldn’t agree with #1 more – my husband loves makes a world of difference. AMEN!

    I know without a doubt – finding Jesus has been my biggest influence ever.

    Then my husband.

    Then adopting 6 children internationally.

    Then our two biological daughters love for Jesus and what that means in our home! Meaning I must rise to His standard daily :) They are iron sharpening iron for sure!

    Then reading the bible – along with Andrew Murray’s books. WOW! Is all I can say about them!

    Blessings – I’m very thankful we met! God is good all of the time!
    Jill

    PS My give-away might make a super Mom’s day gift – I’m just sayin’..shhhh! ;-)

  • Jennifer

    It’s a delight to peek in a bit on the people who have shaped you, Mr. Billy Coffey. Behind every good man is a good woman — if not his wife, then his mother. In your case, BOTH. :-)

    I, too, would include my children among my Five. They daily teach me lessons about myself and about God.

    Blessed again in stopping here …

  • LauraLee Shaw

    I heard Andy Andrews speak a few weeks ago. Wow, what a testimony. So glad you entered the challenge, #3 is true for me as well.

  • Heart2Heart

    Billy,

    I love your list and I love the detailed reason behind each of your choices.

    I would have to say for me, it would be God first, because He was always there for me, is always there for me now and will be there for me in my future.

    Then, it would be my second hubby Steve who has instilled in me that it’s ok to be a “dork’ and taught me to trust again in people. Before that I was a mere shadow on the face of the earth.

    My kids would be next since they remind me of what I need to do to enter the kingdom of heaven. They don’t over think anything, they just do. It keeps my perspective on life much simpler.

    Next would be Max Lucado, my favorite author because besides being so inpirational at his writing, he also keeps it down to earth and real.

    My mom would be last because she has taught me that no matter how hard life can be, love still remains at the end of it all. You can never really lose love. It always comes back to you in another form.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  • Eyeglasses & Endzones

    Hi!

    Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment. I love meeting new bloggy friends. Your post was great and I love the 5 people theme. That was new to me but a really great concept! Seems like we have a couple of the same “Followers” so I will be back to stalk you!!!! =)

  • Amy Platon

    wendy sent me over here, it’s nice to meet you. I’m so glad this topic happens weekly cause it keeps me in check that I’m always learnin’ something! I have two little ones and so obviously they keep me on my toes, and recently I learned a little something from myself! Love it when that happens!

  • Tracy

    Fantastic! (And thanks for the shout out!) Loved your list. It’s pretty amazing to think how much impact “ordinary” folk can have on you. Thanks for sharing!

  • elaine @ peace for the journey

    The list is long and include many of the same that you so graciously listed here. There is, however, a group of people who were foundational for me in a season fifteen years ago; a loving bunch of arms that wrapped tightly around me and walked me through the season of healing that followed a difficult divorce. I am forever indebted to their grace and their “seeing beyond” the labels to tenderly and gently walk me home to Jesus.

    And then there’s my “Billy”– God’s gift of grace that met me and my young sons at the end of a long aisle on hot July day twelve years ago and said “I do” to the lot of us. I have tasted the truth of the cross because of him. I don’t think I shall ever recover from that one, nor do I want to.

    Thanks for the pondering. God’s blessings and peace to you this week in your mountain ministry~elaine

  • tonyyork

    Hmm… 5 people. Now I have to go think and see if I can count that high… while remembering names. That is quite the challenge.

    I may sit down tonight and write that post, though. Assuming the honey-do gets to the honey-did.

    On a side note, my parents live in Knoxville, Tennessee. My father was raised in a coal-mining camp at the foot of the blue ridge in a place called Gobbler’s Knob.

  • Nitewrit

    Billy,

    I’ll have to take your “train ride” sometime. I’ve done a couple Posts on people who have influenced me in the past. Picking five would be tough. I’ll try it when i get through the series I am currently trying to write.

    I think I’ll rule out my family when i do, just to add some outside that circle, not to slight my family because there is a lot of influence there.

    It is interenting reading the comments that most of us had our real influences come from “plain” people, not from the famous and iconic.

    Larry E.

  • jasonS

    You’re so right. It’s just good to recognize how deeply we need each other. It’s also great to read others recognizing people in their lives!

    Thanks for the mention too. :)

    My five are here.

  • Chris Godfredsen

    Thanks again, Billy. I am going to contemplate this list. I would ordinarily hop right in, but as you said, you never know for sure who is stopping by. I would have similar tales, I believe, in your fifth entry. Some make us better in that we learn what not to do and how not to act, more than making good examples themselves. Been wrestling with that one for a little while.

    But may God bless each of these on your list, as they have blessed you in one way or another!

  • Rosslyn Elliott

    I appreciated both this post and the Allison story, which I clicked over to read. Thank you!

  • God’s Not Finished With Us Yet…

    Hmmmm; I’ll have to give this some thought….am I supposed to post this on my blog or just on your comment area as others have?

    My first two (three) answers I know but the 4th, and 5th I have to think about….I’ll get back to this.

  • twofinches

    BILLY

    I am so inspired by your writing…it makes me want to stay up late and write even more.

    I read the Allison post…oh those regrets just stay under our skin don’t they? Instead of remembering the good we did we remember the words that god stuck in our throat. We all likely have an ALlison type story…but yours was deliciously written!

    I am not sure I can do justice to the list of five on the spot like this but…

    My Parents: Mom and Dad were both world travelling evangelists before they met and married in England. They moved to Canada and pastored all the churches nobody wanted. And we kids were blessed to learn the lessons these experiences brought to us. My parents loved Christ and touched thousands of lives, one small congregation at a time. And they molded us to see the world in godly-perspective.

    C.S. Lewis: He echoes my questions and doubts and wonderings in an exquisite way.He soothes and challenges.

    My Brother David: David once had an amazingly succesful business…but one day he looked around and said ” I need to honor my call” So he sold it and chose poverty. He wanders the streets helping anyone he sees, sitting with the homeless and listening to their stories, buying lunch for young people who have lost their way. His contentment is an inspiration to me!

    My Husband: Because he really gets how I tick.

    My Five Children: Their lives brought magic to mine. With three of them in adulthood I still am amazed that they are mine!

  • Laura

    I love this…makes me remember and appreciate. But it’s late, and I’m having trouble narrowing my list so I will have to think about it when I’m more alert.

    What you say about your kids resonates with me, and I would have to ditto that. These young ones amaze and inspire.

    I enjoyed my visit here!

  • RCUBEs

    It’s wonderful God had given us all sorts of relationship that we can rely on to make us more strong when we’re facing trials, to be loved and be able to love in return.
    Your post just shows how much your family mean to you!
    God bless.

  • Julie Gillies

    What a cool post. And what a diverse group of people God has placed into your life. How can we ever doubt that he loves us when His kindness comes through our lives in the forms of such wonderful people?

    I agree with you about our kids teaching us. I’ve been a mom for 29 years now (gasp!) and I’m now a grammy (double-gasp!) and they all just keep teaching me. LOL Guess I’ve got a lot to learn.

  • lynnrush

    Awesome list, Billy. This was such a fun thing to do.

    :-)

  • Anne L.B.

    I just don’t have it in me to do any more introspection at the moment. But I’ll definitely be thinking on this one.

    I just read about Allison. When I have room to breathe, I intend to page through every post on your blog, Billy.

  • Joanne Sher

    Fascinating! Not sure what I’d put for mine. Neat.