Billy Coffey
Billy Coffey

Looking Back

May 15, 2009  

A friend of mine is drowning in ancestral paperwork. Books and papers are strewn across the floor of his study. Piles of legal pads are stacked at his desk. And a giant world map hangs on one wall with brightly colored stickpins inserted not only into various countries, but specific parts of those countries.

He’s been at this for years, he says. And there’s no end in sight. It’s tough work, hard work, but ultimately very rewarding. He’s slowly gathering the pieces to the puzzle of his past, trying to answer the very riddle that we all at some time ponder:

Where do I come from?

He told me that as a child he found an old family Bible in his grandmother’s house. Inside were the names of her parents and grandparents, and theirs, and theirs, stretching back almost two hundred years. The writing was faded and the pages were yellowed, but he was captivated. Like rolling down the window of a speeding car to take one look back before the next curve.

Sadly, there were just the names. No locations or dates. And as his grandmother was elderly, she could unfortunately offer little help in the way of more information.

That Bible now sits on his bookshelf. A keepsake and a reminder, one that says this is where it started.

He’s Googled and Yahooed. He’s written letters to both our government and foreign ones. He’s corresponded with researchers and genealogists. And he’s uncovered much.

So far as he can tell, he can trace his family back to medieval Italy. Rome, to be exact. His ancestors were quite wealthy. Landowners and artists and poets. And even statesmen. Powerful people. Important people.

He likes this. He’s proud of his ancestors and their position in life. He may be a simple plumber, but he comes from good stock.

Me, I’m a little fuzzy on the history of the Coffey name. My particular branch came to this country in the mid-1600s, mingled with some Cherokee blood, and settled in the Shenandoah Valley. Before that they were mostly Irish and Dutch. Fishermen, from what I can tell, and farmers.

I could dig deeper of course, and someday maybe will. But the truth is that I’m not concerned about the more affluent members of my family tree. I don’t care about landowners and statesmen.

I want to know what cannot be known. I want to know about those fishermen and farmers. The Nobodies.

The ones who carried on my family’s name despite the poverty and the gruel and the taxes paid to oppressive kings. The ones who had to endure sickness rather than be treated for it. The common ones who lived a common existence and dared sail a perilous expanse of water to start over and live better.

I think of them often. And I often wonder if they thought of me.

Did they pause with their hand on the plow or the net to ponder if their name would still be uttered in this world a hundred generations later? Or did their gaze only go so far as the next row of crops or the next wave over the bow?

Was I as fuzzy and mysterious to them as they are to me?

I spend a lot of time convincing myself that only now matters. Only here. This. But as I continue on through my life, I’m finding that a little difficult to accept. Now isn’t the be all and end all. It is the only moment we truly possess, but not the only moment that truly matters. Because I am the result of many moments and many decisions that mattered to people with whom I share a common bond. And those who come after me, my children and their children and theirs, will be the results of my own moments and decisions.

It is, without a doubt, a heavy burden we bear. We, you and I, stand upon the cusp of history. Thousands of years of ancestors have led to us, and perhaps thousands of years more depend upon us.

Not to be powerful and important.

But merely to endure.

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Comments

  • T. Anne

    What a great post. It’s not just now but the hope of our future that lingers just in the distance. Enduring is all we can do sometimes.

  • Marie

    I am a geology addict myself. I love learning about my ancestors and where I came from. I find it quite fascinating. The best is being in the Temple and feeling them all around me. It’s a pretty special and wonderful experience.

  • Denise

    Powerful post.

  • Chris Godfredsen

    Not to be powerful or important, but to merely endure!

    Amen, Billy. To love those around you, to care for the farmers, fishermen, the oppressed – may that be our legacy!

    Good post!

  • Helen

    There is no point in me going back in my family tree. My daddy told me I come from a long line of peasants, and I should be proud to know that no one had the power, connections, or wealth to cheat anyone of anything. And I am proud to know that.

  • Annie K

    My moms family is English…we’ve got a lot of civil/revolutionary war dudes (Ethan Allen) and some English royalty.

    But my dad’s family…old world Hungary/Romania. They didn’t keep records like the English. Dad did track down their passages to Ellis Island and has the manifests hanging on his wall. But prior to the 1900’s it’s pretty sketchy. Lots of common folks though.

    Probably why when I start to think I’m queen and all that (ehem) I get reminded that there are two sides to my ancestry.

  • Blessed Mom of 8

    I think of the book of Ecclesiastes and there is a season for everything. I think about how God tells us we all are but a vapor. That although our moments affect life of those around us and hopefully leave a legacy of a godly kind with our children to pass on- we – {you and I} don’t really have that much affect on life.

    History is all HIS. All of it.

    All moments in time belong to Him – given by Him – allowed by Him and many caused by Him.

    I too have thought about our family history – my father who doesn’t talk to me or my brother – is the family geneologist – how that makes sense I have no idea. I digress! Sorry!

    I have a huge copy of his work. I have looked at it a few times – just curious where we all started (our family I mean). Interesting where they lived, how long they were alive and what they did. I like to know that kind of stuff because I care about people and what makes them – well them.

    Yet, as interesting as all of that information is – none of them knew me – not even my Dad’s parents. So they all added to me being alive in some small way but they never considered the life I would one day lead.

    But God has all along! He is the beginning and the end. He is the author and finisher our faith and life!

    To Him I look for what my life should mean to those around me and long after I am gone. When I am no longer here I pray that I left a foot print on our children’s hearts that will be passed down – that footprint is obedience and joyful submission to God! Anything else I do doesn’t matter!

    Blessings and thanks for giving me something to ponder along with you!

    Jill

    PS Ok, so you might not give up drinking coffee but you might just learn to enjoy a good cup of tea now too :) I pray you and your wife enjoy the gift!!!!

  • katdish

    I am not even kidding when I tell you we might just be related. My father’s side of the family also came to Virginia in the 1600’s of Dutch and English descent. They settled near Warsaw. Very small world, and wicked awesome post, as usual.

  • Chatty Kelly

    This is an interesting post. As an adult child of an alcoholic I definitely don't think we should be defined by our ancestors…or even our parents! I'm more concerned with breaking free of the past.

    By the same token, I want the legacy I leave for my family to be one of faith, hope & love. Alot to think about today. Sometimes enduring is all we can do.

  • Nitewrit

    Billy,

    And sometimes we find wonderful things about our humbler ancestors that make us wish we could have known from more than old clippings and records. This was written about my great, great grandmorther, Susan Bruner:

    “It is seldom our lot to record the death of one with whom we felt so unwilling to part, as our late friend. We cannot realize that death, the fell destroyer, has laid his cold hand upon her and claimed her as his own. Only a few days ago we saw her in the bloom and activity of life, the centre of the family circle, radiating joy and happiness all around now cold in the embrace of death. But to her the grave was no terror. As she stood upon the confines of eternity and beheld beautiful angels waiting to bear her away, she was anxious to quit this world of fleeting joys and dwell forever with her Lord. In early life she felt the necessity of a change of heart and besought an interest in the merits of atonement: she connected herself with the Waynesburg Presbyterian Church, in which she continued a faithful member. Recently, on account of the distance, and believing a greater field of usefulness open to her, she united with herself with the Goodwill M. E. Church, thus doubly consecrating herself to Christ and his cause. But her warfare was destined to be short. In the midst of her labors and before that object was accomplished, which had been the subject of so many prayers, and the hope that guardian angles would watch over her three motherless little children, she closed her eyes to death. She lived a life of faith and prayer, and her bible was her daily companion. No one could look upon its well worn pages without being deeply impressed with her love of God’s truth. Truly it was a lamp shining continually on her way and never did her feet stray from its blessed path of light. Her kindness and hospitality, her unwearied diligence as the head of her family, her unselfish devotion to her relatives, mark a character of unusual generosity, self-denial and self-sacrifice. Yet not in herself was her trust; in Jesus alone it was placed. Clothed with his righteousness and saved by his grace, she rests in peace. Her record is on high, and already we believe she entered her mansion in the skies, a saint in light.” -D. S. T. VR. 12/3/1867

    Larry E.

  • Julie

    Wow, Billy… I really loved this one. It’s so true… we stand on the cusp of history. The decisions we make today will possibly affect our children tomorrow. I’ve seen it to be true. I’m often telling my children, the decisions you make for your life will not affect you alone. Your children and grandchildren could be affected… It’s a daunting thought!

    I’m so glad you visited my blog that day. I’ve been here ever since and truly love reading here. Thank you!

    Julie

  • Joanne Sher

    Ohhhh wow, Billy! This is absolutely poetic, and such a fascinating read. Fabulous.

  • Anne L.B.

    Magnificent, Billy! My own random thoughts …

    We dare to have days when we call endurance difficult. What was it like to endure in a culture when the need to survive pressed in on every side, every day?

    Bible geneologies fascinate me. The fact that some people were included at all is so random. They are only distant relatives of the main actors. Yet God saw fit to record their names in the most sacred of all history’s annals.

    Nearly all I know of my father’s maternal grandfather is written on a photo of him, which conveys the most pure peace I think I’ve ever seen in a man’s face. I understand he was a man of faith. He’s among the people I most look forward to meeting in heaven.

  • Annie

    This reminds me of Schindler’s List. It was not only about saving thousands of lives during the Holocaust, it was also about preserving a generation of people. The picture that flashes through my mind is the people who lived through it and their relatives as they all visited Schindler’s grave.
    And through the generations who endured, this time in history will never be forgotten and will hopefully never happen again.

  • Beth E.

    This is my favorite part:

    “It is, without a doubt, a heavy burden we bear. We, you and I, stand upon the cusp of history. Thousands of years of ancestors have led to us, and perhaps thousands of years more depend upon us. Not to be powerful and important. But merely to endure.”I’m praying, asking God for the strength to endure whatever the future holds!

    Thanks for another powerful post.

    Blessings,
    Beth

    Word verification: suprbra
    Don’t worry…it’s tempting, but I won’t go there! LOL

  • Nick the Geek

    I started getting into my genealogy a while back. I found out some really weird things like my last name, which we always thought was from English heritage, is actually of German decent. I feel like I’ve never been connected to my past. My last grandparent died this year so I have no ties to anyone before my parents. That is really weird at 30 to feel rootless.

    Of course that does not preclude a future. I have children and more than that I have young men and women I pour my life into. That is the legacy I hope to leave.

  • Wendy

    I come from a long line of nobodies. I’ve heard some pretty interesting stories about them, too! Seems like there’s a lot more life to live when you’re a nobody.

  • karin

    Thank you for an excellent post! How does that saying go, “He who dwells on the past, loses one eye, but he who forgets the past loses both eyes.” It is good to remember how God’s grace has affected those who have gone on before and how it is still there for us! Amazing!

  • girlinaglasshouse

    Of all the beautiful parts of this post this line really carries a great deal of weight for me
    “I am the result of many moments and many decisions “
    When I look back on my own life there were bad decisions that brought amazing results. I could have chosen better ways but then everything would be changed…even the parts I treasure. Every day we should weigh the moments. They do carry the future within them!

  • Jennifer

    Read this earlier today, and still thinking about it tonight. This part:

    “Did they pause with their hand on the plow or the net to ponder if their name would still be uttered in this world a hundred generations later?”

    Sort of puts a lot of things into perspective, doesn’t it?

  • Peter Stone

    Great ponderings, Billy, and captivating to read. Being an avid historian, I have often wondered what my ancestors were doing, especially in the Middle Ages, one of my favorite periods.

    My mother has dug back a few generations in conjunction with her cousins in Sydney, but for me, I can only recall back to my grandparents. I wonder, will my great grand children even be aware of my existance?

    Does not worry me, however, I am extremely keen that my relationship with Christ shall continue through to those generations. My children are third generation Christians, and I pray the Lord is laying a foundation in them to keep that going to fourth, fifth, even sixth generations…

  • TUC

    And endure we do. Writing like yours makes it easier though!

  • gzusfreek

    “Not to be powerful or important, but to merely endure”

    Great post!

    I too wonder – I know I’m Irish/Indian. Wish I knew more :)

  • lisasmith

    I want to endure and endure well.
    Good, thought-provoking post.

    Glad you’re well :)