The Old Man
June 28, 2009
There is truth and there is Truth, and the big T usually trumps the little one. At least it does in my writing. The tiny details in my life are often sacrificed in favor of the big ideas within them. I like this. If there’s one thing I want to share with people, it’s that every life is filled with holiness; all we have to do in order to see it is slow down and take a deep breath.
Most of my posts have very little to do with me and instead tend to focus upon the people around me, folks who are a lot more interesting than I am. My life and what’s going on with me is not nearly as entertaining as the neighbor down the road or the guy who picks up my trash.
Usually, anyway. But not always. Sometimes something you’ve kept secret needs to be told, because sometimes what haunts you does so because you’re too afraid to talk about it.
For the past nineteen years I’ve known an old man in a bowler hat. He’s never given me his name, never offered. And frankly, asking him is the furthest thing from my mind.
I’ll invite you over to Katdish’s blog to read the story. It’s a good one, and one that’s offered me a good deal of liberation in writing. But since we’re tight, you and I, I’ll also give you a little warning. This isn’t my normal sort of post. There is upbeat, aw-shucks Billy, and there is the Billy who broods. Katdish let me brood today. For that, she has my thanks.
The upbeat, aw-shucks Billy will be back tomorrow, when I’ll tell you a story about how my daughter taught me to plant beans. But for now, follow me…
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14 Responses to “The Old Man”
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I’m a writer whose first novel, Snow Day, will be published by FaithWords in 2010.
But don’t let that fool you. I’m just as confused as anyone.
And that is fine with me, because the great thing about wandering around in the fog is that you never know what you might run into.
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Here I come!
c/p from Katdish's comment section.
Because I wanted you to hear it twice~
yikes!
Scary stuff.
Just proves that enemy feels he needs to bring out the big guns when trying to overthrow great men of God. Keep on your armor and protection, Billy. Secure it twice.
The only reason you are being chased and wanted to be brought down is because you are so effective in spreading God's Word and Message.
Keep on keeping on.
Peace~
*~Michelle~*
Many years ago, but not many enough, I was sitting in a school board meeting. The board was preparing to vote to do something really stupid (as boards often do). Then I saw something fluttering above where the board sat.
Thinking a bird had gotten in, I looked up, and saw the dark shadows of wings, scores of them. I can't think of a time when I felt that kind of terror in my heart. And then they were gone.
Fast forward 15 years. A bitterly fought state referendum on embryonic stem cell research was being worsened by a spate of TV ads as the election neared. One pro-research ad featured a well known local personality — elderly, charming, grandfatherly. I stared at the television, and told my wife it was looking into the face of evil.
He could have been wearing a bowler hat.
Thank you for sharing something so personal. I know that you must have spared us the horrifying details of what you have endured all these years. Always look towards the light. The old man is merciless, but only because he understands what a worthy opponent he is up against. And with Christ, all things are possible. Praying for you.
Billy,
Sounds like someone who should go to work in my gallery, the old man I mean.
Sad, because I think we all have "an old man" in our lives trying to tempt us in so many different ways.
As long as our answer remains No, we prevail. We win, he loses. I keep remembering what you said in a previous post, Living is the hard part! Dying is easy!
Love and Hugs ~ Kat
stopped by here to say "thanks" again. This is a great reminder to stay intently focused on Jesus and what He's given and purchased for us.
He that is in you is greater than he of this world!
God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind! 2 Tim 1:7
On those nights Billy remind yourself of these verses and tell the enemy that there is nothing he can do to snatch you from your Father's hands or love!
There is nothing in the darkness worth walking towards or bending around to see – what is there is death and you my friend are very much ALIVE!
When you see him in this fancy get up looking all slick – you tell him to leave and that Jesus will always be the place you choose to go and where you wish to hide when life gets tough. That he can keep coming but your answer will always be the same – that night HE JESUS SAVED YOUR LIFE and LIGHTNESS WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT DARKNESS EVER AGAIN!
PRAYING you sweet sweet slumber in the LORD and nights where the light fills you so bright your wife wakes up wondering if you remembered to turn the lights off!
Blessings,
Jill
You are definitely doing something right for him (lower case) to be messing with you. The great thing is that since you belong to HIM (upper case), you have nothing to fear.
Very insightful post over there, by the way. It gave me the heebs.
Bless you.
I could identify with what you shared Billy. Does the old man also disturb you during daytime too? Thank you for articulating so well what some of us do also experience is some way. Thank you for being so open to share this, I am sure it was not easy. Just know it helped a lot of us. I hope it also helped you to write about it. May the Good Lord's Angels surround you as you sleep each night.
followin'
Hey Billy,
Left this over at Katdish, but wanted to leave it here as well, for you.
We all so love you. You know we all will keep you in our prayers.
pasted from katdish comments:
Ohhhh…so that's why you're awake so much when we're all asleep.
Well, you've got a prayer posse here, and we're here for you. And we'd ride along with, into your dreams, if only we could.
I've had sleepless nights and days before, longest was nearly 5 days, and it messes me up so bad, but haven't had them for a long while now. I don't know how you do it. I had no terror involved, just sleeplessness.
Hubby (he's a regular reader of yours now) & I will pray for you before we head off to sleep each night. You have our commitment.
Billy, you help us all through our days with your words, maybe we can help you through your nights with prayer.
Praying for you, bro. Lord bless you in life, and with rest.
Sometimes there are no words. Just please know that I'm praying for you.
The old man has whispered in my ear and etched his words in my mind. My heart listened and accepted the lies. The lies wrapped themselves around me, bound me, and held me. Escape artist, I am not. Down on my knees begging forgiveness for my failure.
Excellent post!