Billy Coffey
Billy Coffey

The second biggest lie

July 13, 2009  

Being a parent of young children is all about deciding which parts of the world you let in now and which you keep out as long as possible.

For instance.

News? Out. There is no good news. News is meant to depress people. But Sunday morning comics is in. Comics are meant to make you laugh.

Hannah Montana? No. Phineas and Ferb? Yes.

Pro wrestling? Not hardly. But baseball can always provide both quality entertainment and much education.

You get the idea.

This applies to all things spiritual as well. God and Jesus and angels are definitely in, but the darker side of theology goes unmentioned. My kids don’t know what hell is. Or demons. They don’t understand that there are some people in this world who hate their faith and them for having it. The world is a nasty place. I figure part of my job for now is to do all I can to keep that nastiness away. They’ll find out about it all sooner or later.

And maybe sooner.

Our nighttime routine was interrupted yesterday evening by this inquiry from my daughter: “Daddy, who’s Satan?”

The question caught me by surprise. If hell and demons were temporarily off limits, then certainly Satan was, too. Seven-year-olds have fantastic imaginations. Having the thought of a horned and pitchfork-tailed demon rolling around in her mind would make for some long nights.

But what could I tell her? That Satan is the embodiment of evil? That he is darkness so thick that you had to brush it away with a hand? That he is a fallen angel who prowls the earth in search of souls to murder?

No way.

“Daddy?” she said again.

“Um…” I said. “Well, Satan is (someone? something?) bad.”

“The baddest?”

“Yes, the baddest.”

She thought about that and said, “What makes him the baddest?”

“The Bible says he’s a liar,” I told her.

“Daddy, everybody lies,” she retorted. “Even me.”

I decided not to pursue that last little bit of information and instead file it away for later. I really wanted to know what she had lied about.

“But he’s the worst liar ever,” I said.

More thinking. “What’s the worst lie he tells?”

“That God doesn’t love you.”

“I know God loves me, Daddy,” she said.

“That’s good. But maybe one day you’ll start thinking that isn’t true. If that happens, then you just remember that’s just a big, fat lie.”

She nodded and then asked, “What’s the second?”

“The second what?”

“What’s the second biggest lie he tells?”

I opened my mouth to answer, and then closed it. What’s the second biggest lie? I had no idea. I’d never really thought about it. To me, there had always been the first and then the rest. Ranking them beyond that seemed a little unnecessary.

But as I sat there and stared into her eyes, I thought about my life and all the lies I had been told. And then I thought about the lies we’ve all been told.

The best falsehoods are the ones that aren’t told to us as much as they are felt by us. One we accept as truth because that’s what the evidence states.

Those we fall for every time.

It’s easy to lose sight of who we are. Our mistakes and regrets are piled upon one another as a monument to our failure. Stacked high up, blocking the sun. And the Son. It’s hard to see the light when you’re standing in your own shadow.

We carry so much, don’t we? So much knowledge of not only what we’ve done, but what we’re capable of doing. That bad in us is so much easier to see than the good. We dwell upon the depths to which we can plumb but never give thought to the heights to which we can ascend.

There is a holy spark within us all. The thumbprint of the Almighty is stamped upon our hearts. There is a righteous power within us all to rise above where and who we are to become better and more. Too often we limp through our days when we should walk upright, all because we deny the great truth of our existence—we are more than we appear.

“Daddy,” my daughter said again, “what’s the second biggest lie?”

I tucked her beneath the blankets and kissed her forehead.

“That we are all ordinary,” I said.

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Filed under: God, life, ordinary
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Comments

  • Bridget

    Innocence is lost all too soon in our children. As always you expressed yourself beautifully and the answers were perfect! Thank you.

  • lynnrush

    Oh wow. I never thought about that either–the second biggest lie.

    Interesting.

    Thanks for this, Billy!

  • Annie K

    I think the second biggest lie he tells is 'you're not worth it.'

    Yep. First he tells us God doesn't love us, and then he tells us we're not worth the love…

  • Denise

    I think you handled your daughters questions wonderfully my friend.

  • Chris Sullivan

    You touch on too many different emotions to comment easily. I love that your posts challenge me and make me think before I'm even half way through. Then they move in directions I didn't anticipate and challenge me again.

    He is a liar and it is amazing what he can convince you is true in your moments of vulnerability. Usually it is nobody cares or you don't matter.

  • tsholo

    wow wow wow wow wow!!!

    thanks…perfect timing, needed this little reminder.

  • Shark Bait

    "The thumbprint of the Almighty is stamped upon our hearts."

    I love it.

  • Beth in NC

    I haven't had a chance to visit in a while.

    Loved this … as always.

  • Anne L.B.

    Leave it to a boxer to hit me so hard.

    You took the wind out of me with this one Billy. Please excuse me while I catch my breath and recover before you hit me again.

    Have I mentioned yet what a special little girl you've got?

  • Blessed Mom of 8

    First, I love that the darkness of your blog is gone – HELLO LIGHT!

    Ok, second, that was beautiful Billy!

    Our children love that Jesus overcame the devil. They love that where He is NO darkness can hide. They love knowing that even when he lies to them – they can run to THE TRUTH and he has to flee! They love to know that no matter what he tries to tell them God is the only ONE they need to listen to and hear from!

    Adopting children at young ages has shown us – we are naive to think they are too young to be bothered by him. The truth is he begins telling them lies very early and then works the rest of their lives trying to prove it – you are not worthy, they don't love you, they will give you up too, they don't see the darkness in you yet, they don't know who you really want to follow – oh he plays with the young and we must first empower them with the truth as early as possible and pray over them – protect them by His blood!

    They saw the darkness. They lived in the darkness. They witnessed evil – that most reading your blog and most of us adults will never experience.

    Equipping them young is very important – put on the full armor of God and know that He who loves you is FAITHFUL to defend those who love Him and trust in HIM!

    Big hugs to you and your daughter! She sounds really neat!
    Jill

  • sherri

    Billy- I so wholeheartedly agree with those being his top two lies!

    I know I say this alot, but I find people Fascinating! ALL people! NO ONE is ordinary because we are all a unique design by the Master creator! Come on! I do believe falling for the lie "I have nothing special to offer. I'm just ordinary." And that God does not REALLY love us, is not only destructive, but so sad- because we stand to lose so much by believing either one.

    Good food for thought…again.

  • Candace Jean July 16

    Oh those kids stretch us, don't they? Beautifully written words. I want my daughter to be 7 again. Cherish those wonderful questions.

  • katdish

    What Annie K said…
    (great minds and whatnot)

    Have you stopped believing the lies? Hope so.

  • RickNiekLikeBikes

    I think the knowledge of Good and Evil is part of the curse…we had no idea until we ate the fruit of it. God just walked with His children and showed them all good things too. And now God still shows us and helps us experience good and great things…except we still see everything else.

    Love the story.

  • Billy Coffey

    Katdish – Workin' on it.

  • Sarah Salter

    I think that the scariest part is that Satan makes the lies sound believable and that makes us think that maybe they're true…

  • Tammy

    Great questions. Great answers.

  • cindyhan111

    you parent well.

  • Sockrma18

    Phineas and Ferb ROCKS.

    "It’s hard to see the light when you’re standing in your own shadow." I stand in mine more often than I step out and feel the warm light.

    Thanks for this. You have NO idea how much I needed to read these words today.

  • Helen

    Great job. I couldn't have done better.
    When I taught second grade (Catholic School), I always emphasized God's love, but sooner or later the question of the devil and why he does what he does comes from one of those little mouths… I used to tell them the devil is bad because he doesn't love God, and he doesn't want you to either, so he will lie to you about Him….

  • jasonS

    Excellent post. I love those questions by the kids that push me and the look on their faces when they "get" it. Thanks for sharing.

  • Julie

    What a "God moment" with your daughter… These are the things that are the building blocks to that verse, "Train up a child in the way they should go."… I remember when my children were younger. They tuck those truths away inside them. What greater gift can we give a child than to know that they are not ordinary, no their lives are extraordinary…because of Him in them. What the world would look like if everyone got that….

    Great moment shared here, Billy!

  • Lauryn Abbott

    Ooh, the lies of the enemy, and the destruction they cause. It is essential to battle the lies with Truth.

    I look at my daughter watching her Veggie Tales, and I wish I could keep her this innocent forever. Sadly, I know I cannot. But I can raise her up in the Lord and arm her with the full Armour of God. That may be the most important task of my motherly duties.

  • Lianne

    I'd bet that your kids are super-smart. They ask good questions and have the best answers given. I hope they realize someday what a gem they have as a daddy.

  • Joanne Sher

    Another thumbs up for Phineas and Ferb…but that is beside the point. This is EXCELLENT. I think you nailed the second biggest, Mr. Coffey. And nailed all of us who, at least sometimes, believe one or both of them.

  • Chatty Kelly

    Well, I won't vote on the whole Hannah/Phineas thing, but let's just say I agree with everything else. ;-)

    The ending really got my choked up, and that is exactly why you have a contract my friend. You make people FEEL with your writing. Thanks.

  • L.L. Barkat

    Just smiling. Ah, the conversations our little ones draw us into.

  • Peter P

    That was the worst post you've written today.

    Sorry, but I always say things that are so positive, I had to break the mold just once.

    Conversely, it's the best post you've written today too.

    I always find it interesting how people teach their children differently. I completely respect the way you are bringing up your kids but me – I'm teaching my kids to be warriors for Christ. From the time they can first say the name Jesus, they're learning how to fight the enemy.

    I've never before thought about what the biggest lie Satan tells is, or indeed what the second biggest is.

    I might be tempted to argue that the biggest is not that God doesn't love you but that God is not real.

    However, I could be wrong, I often am :-)

    You're an awesome father and teacher Billy!

  • Caroline

    I really like the expression about the tumbprint of the Almighty. It is powerful and soothing all at the same time. Thank you!

  • Heart2Heart

    Billy,

    I love the answers you provided your daughter with. Too true that our kids grow up too soon and the fairy tale world they once believed in is somehow revealed to them as a falsehood. Things aren't all sunshine and rainbows.

    I love the last part and I believe it is one of the greatest lies he tells all of us everyday.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  • Terri Tiffany

    Awesome story! I love your style of writing–the kind I read!

  • Kim

    good word

  • RCUBEs

    I always learn so much from the way you interact with your own children. It's not easy answering their questions sometimes but you did a great job! God bless and He loves you so much and He knows you're an extra-ordinary writer! :)

  • Beth E.

    Great answers, Billy! I agree wholeheartedly with Annie K. and Sarah Salter…

    Don't believe the lies!

  • christy rose

    Yep that about sums it up. He doesn't love us and we are simply nobodies without hope of anything different. Lies! Lies! Lies! Why do we believe them?

  • Jennifer

    My trio will be asking those questions before I know it…I'm writing these all down so I'll be prepared! I totally agree with the "in/out" thing in your house. The world will be chipping at my angels soon enough–I've got to stuff them full as fast as possible so they can stand once they cross over the threshhold into the world. Thanks Billy.

  • Liz

    Great lesson. We are not ordinary, are we?

  • Tea With Tiffany

    Hmm, Billy, good food for thought as always. I love your insight.

    Answering our kids' questions is hard work. I feel clueless often.

    Haven't been over here to read in a while. I see you've changed to black on white. Yeah! So much easier on my eye. :)

    Write on…

  • LisaShaw

    We faced this when we were raising little ones…I so remember.

    Your sharing was powerful.

    Blessings to you and your precious family.