The weekend What If?
July 31, 2009
It’s Saturday, which means I’ve pulled Dr. Gregory Stock’s The Book of Questions down off the shelf, closed my eyes, and picked one of his questions to ask you.
Fortunately, my fingers stopped flipping pages at question 210. One of my favorites.
I say that because it touches upon one of humanity’s most common afflictions–regret. That old expression of hindsight being 20/20 is true. We can see much more clearly by turning around than looking ahead. One of the great ironies of life.
There are those among us who buckle under the weight of their bad decisions and horrible mistakes, and those who believe that every choice we’ve made in life, whether good or bad, has helped bring us right where God wants us to be. And then there are people like me who fall somewhere between the two.
So with that in mind, here’s this weekend’s question. Feel free to answer in the comments:
“You are given a chance to return to any previous point in your life and change a decision you made, but you will lose everything that has happened to you since then. Is there a time you would return to? If so, would you like to retain the memory of the life you are giving up even though you could never recapture it?”
Comments
31 Responses to “The weekend What If?”
Feel free to leave a comment...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!
I’m a writer whose first novel, Snow Day, will be published by FaithWords in 2010.
But don’t let that fool you. I’m just as confused as anyone.
And that is fine with me, because the great thing about wandering around in the fog is that you never know what you might run into.
Don't miss anything: Subscribe now-
You can catch up with me here:
-
Great question my friend. I would not want to go back and change any decisions I have ever made.I have made my share of bad decisions, but they are part of who I am.
I don't think so. I've made a lot of bad decisions in my life; and lots of things that I really wish I could have not done. But I don't think I would un-do any of them, because you really can't know where your life will go.
Each decision I think I meant at the time, and so I try to stick to it, regardless of the consequences.
Or maybe I'm just too much of a coward to try it again.
Not for a moment would I give up every single bad decision to start over again – even with keeping the memory of the life I have now.
No way!
Thank You Lord, for the life that has lead me directly into Your arms.
Thank You Lord, for the life that You have given me, the husband, our 8 blessings and a heart made of flesh instead of stone!
Thank You Lord, for an understanding of what this life is all about and what is to come!
Thank You Lord, for the freedom I have to be me, knowing it all comes from You!
Nope! No way! No how!
Would you Billy?
Love and blessings,
Jill
Wow. Before I read the part about having to give up everything since that moment I had many places of regret, the consequences of which I would have liked to be spared from! But the fall out and recovery from those times was taken by God and woven into the fabric of me…I cannot remove one part because I would begin to unravel!
I need to get that book!!
I wouldn't return and change my life if I would lose everything I've had since then.
Other than all the little "wish I hadn't said that, wish I had responded better to that situation" since getting married and becoming a mother, any "choice change" I would make would come before both of those milestones. Even though sometimes things are hard, I would never give up my husband and my children for anything, and only having a memory of what had been and no longer was would be salt in a wound.
Wow…makes you refocus on what you really have, doesn't it?
There are things I've said and done that I deeply regret. But I wouldn't go back and change them if it meant losing all that I've gained since then.
I've learned so much from my failures and mistakes. They have helped me see how much I need a Savior and how precious God's grace truly is. I've seen the Lord bring so much beauty and order out of my chaos that it gives me confidence that nothing is beyond His ability to redeem.
I'll take this life as it is.
I wouldn't want pieces erased. For even the valleys have been part of who I am now, and who I am becoming.
God picked up His pen the moment He created me and has been writing the story of my life, with all of its twists and turns, joys and sorrows and yes, regrets for some choices made. Even when He lets me wander He still holds the pen and uses all of my mistakes for good accroding to Romans 8:28.
Who am I to use an eraser or to take the pen from His hand?
A definite, no I would not like to return to any point in my life. Those moments have helped mold the person who I am today. I have no regrets, only lessons learned. As for having loved ones return for a moment…yes I would.
Fascinating, that there are so many people who wouldn't want to change anything. It's a funny thing, but that factors a lot into the choices that I am making now – I ask myself this question: if I were to be lying in bed, 20 years from now, would I be lying there wishing that I had done something differently (and then be up all night wondering), or would I be able to roll over and fall back asleep, content with all that I have done. It's definitely put some perspective on important decisions.
That question is another knock-the-wind-out-of-me punch. Thanks a lot, Billy.
There are points in life I've always wished I could go back and change, each one a point of sin. Even after decades, some of their consequences remain. I can say that even if it cost me everything I have now, I'd still do them over to take back the pain I've caused others.
But. Now that you've asked the question, I realize that if I affirm God works all things for good for those who love Him, then I can't deny that means in the lives of both me and others. Do I allow His sovereignty to prevail, over even sin? Or do I believe if He can work sin for good, how much more so might He have worked not-sinning for good?
Then there's this. Does the pain of those consequences make me more dependent on God, draw me closer to Him than I might have otherwise been? Do I love Him more because of the pain?
Gonna take me a while to wrap my mind around all that. No answer today. First off, I need to catch my breath from that punch.
Billy,
Another easy question. If you have watched the movie, The Five People You Meet In Heaven, great book but better movie, you see that every action you make in life has affected another in some way.
So if I were to go back and change anything, it would not only change my life but the lives of the people I have touched or brought about to salvation.
Everything I have endured has made me the person I am today and I wouldn't change that for anything.
Love and Hugs ~ Kat
Hmmm …. At first I thought YES! I so need a do over. I wouldn't want to retain the memories though because after the do over if things were worse than before, well life would be torture then wouldn't it??
After a bit more thought I realized that even though I have lived through some really horrific events recently and the consequences have been quite dire …. I have drawn so much closer to my heavenly Father, I have a peace about life and my future in spite of many scary unknowns that I wouldn't trade it away for anything
Blessings,
Tina
Knowing what I know now, I would not give up my life with my wonderful wife and kids! I have learned from every bad mistake and it has made me the man that I am.
I think that God's plan for me has turned out the way he wants and I am just fine with that.
Interesting question, it makes me wonder about how single people would answer and how married people would answer as well.
It's more than likely best some things aren't possible … God directs our steps.
This seems odd after having read everybody else's responses… But yes, there is one decision that I would go back and change. I knew at the time that I was making the decision that it was the wrong decision and that I would regret it. I regretted it then and I still regret it now. Maybe one day, I'll get far enough past the consequences of it that I can say, "I'm okay with this." But I'm not there yet– and it's been almost a decade– so it makes me sort of wonder if I'll ever get there.
Ok.. I really want to be with the no crowd BUT…
I know that God made my wife for me and I know that he had a plan to bring us together.
I also know that he gives me free will and some of the stupid, stupid things I've done were my own fault and I am still paying the price for them.
I believe that if I hadn't made those mistakes, God would still have brought me and Debbie together and, while God uses the dumb stuff we do for good in the end, I would love to go back and slap myself and tell myself not to be so stupid.
Yeah I'd change some of my mistakes, because my mistakes don't alter God's plans.
I don't trust myself or my limited wisdom. I know even in my failures that God has shown me that He is my strength (and that I had bought the lie I was strong enough). In a way, the God of eternity does alter history by working all things to our good and revealing His glory. Regret can't coexist with forgiveness…
Sorry, don't know if that's where you were going with all this! Good to think about though.
There are so many decisions that I'd be tempted to change although the person I am today is a direct result of these choices.
To go back now and lose the blessings God has given me since makes the decision very simple…no way!
What a great, weighted question!
At first I was thinking, sure I'd like to go back and change one thing, just one. But to lose all what's happened since then, I couldn't do it.
In the end, more bad decisions would have been made on my part and a completely different life than presently, which I first hated mind you, but now love.
Do I have any regrets? Plenty. Would I go back and change anything? Nope, I wouldn't. I love my life, with it's ups and downs, it's laughter and tears. I am who I am because of it, AND I'm must stronger now than I was in the past. I've grown from my mistakes.
My thoughts immediately went back to when we decided to move to Fl 8 years ago-and then we wouldn't be unemployed now. But then I also remembered my daughter wouldn't have found her husband and I wouldn't have my grandson. So no, no matter what my current circumstances, I wouldn't erase any time.
I would not change anything if I would lose the life I have lived up till now. Each phase of life brings new wisdom.
Holy mackerel ! These are hard questions. I think I've spent the first half of my life making as many mistakes as humanly possible, "hey ya'll watch this" type stuff. Now I can tell my kids and grand kids, "you may not want to do that… I've already tried it and it hurts." Would I like to have done things differently? Absolutely. God is so awesome at how He works all things together for good and weaves a masterpiece out of a mess. Two finches above said it so well, " But the fall out and recovery from those times was taken by God and woven into the fabric of me…I cannot remove one part because I would begin to unravel!" I don't want to go back. I'd most likely just find a whole new set of mistakes to make anyway.
I have learned some good things in the past 5 years since I received life-threatening injuries in a vehicle accident. But with the physical pain, lifestyle changes and dramatic scars I now live with, I wish I could go back to May 20, 2004 and leave 10 minutes earlier or later, so we wouldn't be involved in that nasty accident!
I'm an optimist, so I'm living, laughing and loving – even with my issues. God is love and he's given me the strength and hope to survive near death and the horrendous recovery that followed.
And I think God, the creator of all, is big enough to have taught me what I learned without needing this accident to do it. I don't think he caused it to teach me anything, it happened because at times, life sucks and accidents happen, and then, because I asked for his wisdom/etc. he used it for good.
As for retaining memory of the life I would be giving up – I would be happy to forget a lot of the pain of the past 5 years.
I would not want to risk not having what I have now. God provided me with loving parents, and a loving husband. I wouldn't want to mess with that.
I would go back 4 hours ago when I ate that extra piece of chocolate birthday cake. I didn't need to do that.
And you really should quit punching Anne. She's a nice lady…
Though I would love do-overs in many, many things, if I had them, I would not be where I am with God right now. Not that it's perfect, but it's certainly better than it was when I was making stupid decisions, and that was His intention. So no, keep me here, painful as it is sometimes. And keep me moving toward Him.
I really can't believe how much cake Katdish ate.
I think I'm gonna say yes, I'd like to go back and do it all over again starting at age 16. Crazy, uh? But I wouldn't want to be able to retain any memories of my current life.
Of course if I did have the chance to do it all over again, I'm sure I'd just screw things up in a different way. Lol!
as you say hindsight has 20/20 vision whereas foresight does not. there are choices that i made in my past that i'm not proud of…however, with the knowledge and experience i had back then, it's not surprising that i made the choices that i did…and even though i'm not proud of them, i don't regret them because they led me to where i am now.
so no…i wouldn't want to relive that time of my life. i'm a different person now than i was back then and i'm comcerned with who i am and who i'm becoming, not who i was.
Billy, I finally have an answer to the question of whether I would go back to change the past, given the opportunity. It took a whole post to answer: FLAME