Billy Coffey
Billy Coffey

Turning Inside Out

December 11, 2009  

image courtesy of photobucket.com

image courtesy of photobucket.com

It was the tapping that first drew my attention. Rhythmic and soft yet somehow drowning out the noise of the city. I finished my sip of coffee and watched as the two walked past, then stared at my empty cup and pondered. I’d seen them before, them and others like them, taking an afternoon tour of the downtown. The busy streets and crowded sidewalks provided the perfect classroom atmosphere. Which was appropriate, because that’s exactly what their walk was. Class.

Tap…tap…tap…

I tossed my cup into the iron receptacle—PUSH, it said, as if pulling were an option—and followed them, past the theater and the courthouse and all the way down to the antiques shop with the armless mannequin pouting in the window. They were given a wide and somewhat guilty berth by those who passed, pedestrians who averted their eyes as if to even the score.

They paused at the next intersection and so did I, though from that perfect distance of being able to hear and yet remain unknown. The young man’s cane had ceased its tapping and was now transformed into a flimsy but suitable leaning post.

“What do you hear?” the teacher asked.

The answer was “Four cars to the right coming fast. One car ahead idling. Three cars are behind me, one backing up and the other two parking. There’s a boy coming out of a store, and he’s crying.”

The teacher’s voice was low and calm with timbre that seemed to italicize the last word of every sentence—“Good job”, “That’s it.”

The boy rocked slightly at the words, dancing in darkness. His eyes held the appearance of a long-ago blink that never quite finished, freezing the area between his cheeks and nose into a semi-permanent grin.

“What are the cars around you doing?” came the question.

He leaned forward and listened. “Nothing. They’re doing nothing.”

“Okay then, let’s go.”

Tap…tap…tap…

I followed them across just as the neon stick figure by the stoplight blinked. The three of us continued on through town, two teachers and one student trailing just behind.

“You can see,” came the instruction. “You don’t need your eyes to see. You can see through your cane and your mind, through your senses. All you need to do is reach out and feel. All you need to do is turn yourself inside out.”

I nodded to no one.

“Tell me what’s happening around you.”

“There’s a restaurant just ahead to the right,” he said. “Mexican. The trashcan we just passed needs to be emptied. There’s a cat on the sidewalk. And the lady who just walked by is in a hurry to meet her boyfriend.”

I wondered at that last bit of information. His companion, too. “Why do you say that?” she asked.

“She was running in heels,” the boy said. “And she has too much perfume on. Why else?”

The three of us smiled.

We snaked out way through three more streets while the play-by-play continued. A shopkeeper was aggravated at the bit of dirt he couldn’t sweep away; two squirrels were arguing on the limb of a tree; two women were sharing a joke.

The three of us paused once more at the river near the parking garage. No reason was apparent to me other than the fact that the boy just wanted to enjoy the sound of the rushing water. Which, I decided, was the very best reason of all. They left a few minutes later to climb the steps to their car. I remained behind, pondering.

It was without a doubt the greatest walk I’d ever taken. The notion was an ironic one given the locale; I’d much rather walk over ground rather than pavement. And yet even upon the tallest mountains and deepest forests I had never perceived so much. There was indeed one blind person among our small group, and it was me.

And I wondered this—how much more could we all see if we walked as if blind, relying less on our eyes and more on everything else.

If we reached out and felt.

If we dared the courage to walk through this world inside out.

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Comments

  • http://www.jeannedamoff.com Jeanne Damoff

    You blind? You already see so much more than most, Billy. If you start perceiving even more deeply, my heart may not be able to take the ache.

    I love this. It reminds me of a blind piano tuner I once watched tune my piano, tweaking each tone until it caressed his ear. He’d never been in my home before, and yet followed me from room to room without bumping into anything. He just seemed to know. And when I handed him his check, even though there was no way he could verify I’d actually paid him, he smiled, thanked me, and slipped it in his pocket. He left the loveliest sense of peace and calm behind, and when I sat down and played, I can almost swear my piano sang more sweetly than ever before.

    I think we pity the wrong people most of the time. I really do.

  • http://lovinthearts.com LauraLee@Selah

    Okay. WoW.

  • http://www.JanetOber.com Janet Oberholtzer

    I stayed up late tonight for a few reasons (and some were good ones) … and it turns out reading this post was the best one. Now I will go to sleep dreaming about the possibility of ’seeing’ more tomorrow than I ever have!

    Thanks for the challenge!

  • Caroline

    What a heartfelt and teaching account. Thank you Billy. I should be more thankful and complain less and enjoy more what can be seen only by the heart.

  • http://building-his-body.blogspot.com/ Anne Lang Bundy

    I knew exactly what “tap tap tap” meant as soon as I saw the words.

    I’ve spent a great deal of time in the company of numerous visually-impaired people since the day I was born. They’ve been some of the most astute, gifted, and interesting people I’ve ever met. And though they’re like everyone else in most regards, I’ve not known them to be whiners.

    That’s one of the reasons I don’t have much patience with ranting—not even when I do it.

  • http://blog.hafchurch.org/peter Peter P

    I wonder how much better we would see if we actually opened our eyes once in a while and stopped to look around!

  • http://www.sarahsalter.com Sarah Salter

    Billy, you may not have noticed, but I’m commenting less often on your blog posts. It’s not that I’m reading your posts less often. It’s that you’re making me speechless more often… Today is a perfect example… Just speechless…

  • http://pollywogcreek.blogspot.com Patricia (Pollywog Creek)

    Powerful story and lesson. Thank you!

  • http://www.thechurchofnopeople.com Matt @ The Church of No People

    Dude, I don’t comment often enough, but you rock.

  • http://faithfictionfriends.blogspot.com Glynn

    I wondered what someone would see of me if they followed me down the street. Powerful lesson here.

  • Jim H

    Billy,
    Thanks for opening my eyes this morning. I believed I was seeing, but you provided the real eye-opener.

  • http://www.debwatson.net Deb Watson

    Very thought provoking story told by a gift storyteller! Thank you Billy for sharing your eyes with me!

  • http://forevrenevernalways1.blogspot.com Jill

    Yet again another beautifully written post that leaves us thinking about all the things we do NOT see!

    Blessings and grace Billy! You are such a talented story teller!

    Open my eyes for just one second, give me Your eyes for eternity!
    Open my eyes for just one second, give me Your eyes for humanity!

    Yes, Billy I too want my eyes open to see from the inside out!

    Have a blessed day!

    I shared your Christmas letter today!
    Jill

  • http://hisfirefly.blogspot.com HisFireFly

    I was just praying today “He who has ears let him hear” and then read your story….

    He who has eyes, let him see!

    Even if all of our natural senses are operating normally, we need to increase our spiritual senses.

    Well said as always, Billy.

  • http://www.sonlightblog.com/ Luke Holzmann

    Here is an example where a “blind guide” is a good thing [smile].

    Good stuff, as per usual!

    ~Luke

  • http://www.mydailylight.com Ginny Yttrup

    Some are given the gift of sight, some are given the gift of insight. You have both. This made me think…

  • http://writingwithoutpaper.blogspot.com Maureen

    In his book Anam Cara, the late John O’Donohue included a beautiful essay on the senses. He wrote, “It is a startling truth that how you see and what you see determine how and who you will be. An interesting way of beginning to do some interior work is to explore your particular style of seeing. . . .” For example, he points out that a “fearful” eye sees that “all is threatening”; a “greedy” eye only sees that “everything can be possessed”; the judgmental eyee “looks out” but is “closed in definitive frames”; the “resentful” eye “begrudges” everything; and so on. And then he comes to the “loving” eye, which he writes, “can even coax pain, hurt, and violence toward transfiguration and renewal. . . .”

    A gorgeous essay.

  • http://www.gettingdownwithjesus.blogspot.com Jennifer

    Wow.

    That was incredible. Oh Billy — you are anything but blind. You SEE people. You SEE God at work where others can hardly believe He’s real. What a gift.

  • http://travelinglightghiglia5.blogspot.com/ Laurel Ghiglia

    What a great post. Those of us gifted with “sight” are often the ones who miss the most around us. What a great lesson you gleaned that day. Wonderful.

  • http://lorilundquist@blogspot.com Lori Lundquist

    I can’t add anything that hasn’t already been said… Amen to the post, Amen to the comments. Write on!

  • http://www.redletterbelievers.blogspot.com David @ Red Letter Believers.com

    Open my eyes Lord!
    David@RedLetterBelievers.com

  • http://blog.breakthroughalaska.com jasonS

    That’s so true, BIlly. I think most of the time we’ve decided we don’t have the time, but it’s usually nonsense. I live in Alaska, an amazingly beautiful place. I can drive amidst snow covered mountains and giant majestic pines sometimes for weeks before I stop and remember where I am and how wonderful it is. This is an important reminder for all of us. Really see, really feel, really hear, really experience…

  • http://aspiretoleadaquietlife.blogspot.com A Simple Country Girl

    If we all took the time to look through the eyes of our collective hearts…

    Did the man know about you? I wonder if he could hear your heart watching.

  • http://godsheart-heart2heart.blogspot.com Kat

    Billy,

    This definitely changes things for the better when we view things from an entirely different perspective and see things we never knew were there.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  • http://dougspurling.blogspot.com/ Doug Spurling

    Billy, Wow, I never left my office and that was one of the most amazing walks I’ve ever taken.

    “While we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:18

    Thank you & Merry Christmas!

  • http://everydaybeauty-jamey.blogspot.com/ Jamey

    Great post!

  • Kathleen

    Noticing is a form of worship. It is an amazing thought to think that you delight the heart of the Star Breather by doing so.

  • http://www.randommusings-helen.blogspot.com Helen

    I’m curious. What would you have done if he had said “There is a man wearing a cowboy hat following us, watching every move we make. His book comes out in the Fall of 2010″? What would you ave felt if he said that?

    Seriously though, I admire how you use all of your senses in describing your experiences.

  • http://lexiconluvr.blogspot.com L.T. Elliot

    I feel like I say this all the time but Billy, you’re one hell of a writer. I love reading your stuff. Every post–every post!–I love. You’re amazing.

  • http://heathersunseri.blogspot.com Heather Sunseri

    Billy, you “see” more than most people take the time to. The world around us can be a beautiful place if we slow down to enjoy what surrounds us. Slow down and listen to the One who guides us.

  • http://www.frisbiesrus.blogspot.com Lorianne

    Now, how exactly do we turn ourselves inside out? What a wonderful post!

  • http://shortybearsplace.blogspot.com/ Denise

    Fantastic post.

  • http://www.heartchoices.com Debbie

    This was beautiful and inspiring. How much we miss in the busyness of life. Thank you for sharing.

  • http://barefootfromheaven.blogspot.com Dagmar

    Hi Billy I”m so glad I’m not alone in this one. I do to walk the world inside out so often. The only thing I forget some times is to lock up my heart on some occasions and it get’s smashed. But still I do walk, open minded, inside out because it’s whom I am from the core down. And you know what I never ever wanna walk different than this because I can see hear and smell all the beauty that’s surrounding me.

  • http://www.justsaytheword.wordpress.com nAncY

    at first i thought maybe it was a post about l.l.’s new book.

    thanks for the walk…it was wonderful and left me with some things to think on.