Billy Coffey
Billy Coffey

Getting the Pain Out

February 16, 2010  

photo by photobucket.com

photo by photobucket.com

The local convenience store offers more in the way of convenience than most others. Yes, you’ll find the staples of modern life—snacks, tobacco, alcohol, and lottery tickets—but you’ll also find just about anything else. Including a story or two.

A case in point:

I stopped by one afternoon last week to stock up on the necessities for surviving yet another Virginia snowstorm (bread, milk, and beef jerky). Standing near the coffee pots was Bryan, an old high school friend who worked construction for one of the builders in town. Bryan had come to the store for some supplies as well, though of a different sort. He had managed to talk the lady at the register into giving him a Styrofoam plate and a sheet of aluminum foil.

“Hey, Billy,” he said. “Can you hold this for me?”

I took the plate and foil from him and said, “Okay. Whatcha doin’?”

“Fixin’ my ear. Hold still.” He pulled out a knife and punched a hole through the center of the plate.

I wrinkled my brow and decided to let that go. And then decided not to.

“What’s wrong with your ear?”

“Got something in it,” he said. “Been about a week now. Can’t hear a thing, either. I tried the drops, then a hot rock, then smackin’ my head. Nothin’. It’s killin’ me, it hurts so bad. So now I’m trying this.”

He held up what looked to be a long, hollow piece of honeycomb.

“What are you going to do with that?” I asked him.

“Well,” he said, “I’m supposed to stick this in my ear and light it, and the heat’s supposed to act like a vacuum and suck out whatever’s in my ear.”

I stared at him.

“Seriously,” he said.

“You’re gonna stick that thing in your ear and light it on fire?”

“Yep.”

“What’s the plate and the foil for?” I asked him.

“I’m gonna hold that against my head so I don’t get hurt. I’m not an idiot.”

“Of course not,” I said.

I spent the next ten minutes trying to convince Bryan that his best option was to perform this particular kind of redneck medicine right there in the store so I could watch. He refused. Evidently modesty trumped desperation. Still, it was amazing to me what people would do to get the pain they held inside out.

I was still trying to convince him and still not quite doing it when Stanley Sours walked by on his way to the beer cooler. He snatched a case of Budweiser and passed us on his way to the register.

“Hey, fellas,” he said.

“Stanley,” I said.

“What’s up Stanley?” said Bryan.

Stanley looked at the plate in my hand and the honeycomb in Bryan’s.

“What in the world are y’all doin’?” he asked.

“Bryan’s got something clogged in his ear, so he’s gonna light his head on fire,” I told him.

Bryan nodded.

“Can I watch?” Stanley asked.

Bryan shook his head.

I explained the process to Stanley as well as I could remember it. He was as just as impressed and just as doubtful as I.

“You’re gonna light your head on fire to suck the pain out?” he asked Bryan. “You ain’t all there, are you?”

We all laughed. Stanley slapped both of us on the back and made it way to the register, where he paid for his beer and left.

“He ain’t all there either, you know,” Bryan told me.

I didn’t answer. I didn’t have to. Because he was right, Stanley wasn’t all there. Half of him was in the Ford truck that was pulling out of the parking lot. The other half was about two miles away in a small cemetery plot that held his four-year-old son, a victim of cancer.

That’s when the drinking started. Slow at first and not often, as it always seems to be. Then more. And more. And then Stanley found himself stopping by the store every evening on the way home from work for his case of Bud.

I stood there and watched Stanley leave, then looked down at Bryan’s contraption.

Yes, I thought.

People would do almost anything to get the pain out of them.

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Comments

  • Katdish

    Wow. You sucker punched me with that one Billy. I have to say, I didn’t see that one coming, but I won’t soon forget the lesson.

  • http://www.koverb.blogspot.com Kathleen

    Yes and yes. Stanley, Brian and me – we’re all alike.

  • http://www.rootedontherock.blogspot.com Kenny

    Yea…what Katdish said!

  • http://faithfictionfriends.blogspot.com Glynn

    I think this is going in one direction, and it takes that twist and goes in another. Great story, Billy. And a heartbreaker.

  • http://joyce-fromthissideofthepond.blogspot.com Joyce

    That was like a kick in the stomach. Your talent for story telling is amazing.

  • http://www.redletterbelievers.com David @ Red Letter Believer

    I am trying to get pain out myself. Thanks for the idea! Im headed down to Walgreens to get some of that fire!

    David, Red Letter Believers Blog, “Salt and Light”
    http://www.redletterbelievers.com

  • http://sharon-justsaying.blogspot.com/ Sharon

    Wow. And yes. You’re right. Loved the visual.

  • http://www.ubervu.com/conversations/www.billycoffey.com/2010/02/getting-the-pain-out/ uberVU – social comments

    Social comments and analytics for this post…

    This post was mentioned on Twitter by VariantVal: RT @katdish: RT @billycoffey Getting the Pain Out : Billy Coffey http://bit.ly/d0ZrDR…

  • http://www.randommusings-helen.blogspot.com Helen

    Very moving story, Billy.

    I suppose the difference between men and women is that men say “Can I watch/” and a woman would have slapped him all the way to the doctor’s office…
    Can I keep my honorary mancard anyways?

  • http://www.sarahsalter.com Sarah Salter

    I’ve never understood why people would do ear candling. I recently tried to talk a friend son-in-law into NOT doing it. It’s very dangerous and just crazy! But when you put it this way, maybe it doesn’t seem quite so outlandish…

    I’ve never been a fan of pain. I’m the lady that carries a medicine chest in my purse so that if I have any kind of pain, I have something I can take to relieve it. And that goes for emotional pain, too…

    Ouch, Billy! You stepped on my toes with this one!

  • http://redclaydiaries.com Steph

    Fantastic. I love your storytelling.

  • http://alittleofthisandthat2.blogspot.com/ Dayle

    You speak the truth, and, frankly, is there anyone out there who doesn’t have pain of some kind?

  • http://www.gettingdownwithjesus.blogspot.com Jennifer @ GDWJ

    Great lesson. And yea, what katdish said. Wasn’t expecting that turn. How do you do that — pull us in all different directions emotionally? Wow….

    As for ear candles, um, yea …. I’ve done that sort of redneck medicine. One Sunday afternoon, when I was a young reporter, my curiosity got the best of me. A bunch of us lit our heads on fire. My hearing was better than it had ever been for weeks afterward.

  • Barbara Frazier

    Okay, I’m sitting in my office alone, laughing my head off at you and Bryan and then you start talking about Stanley. I go from tears in my eyes from laughing to tears in my eyes for this poor father. You do have a way with words Billy!

  • http://www.seriouslyamberlynae.blogspot.com Amber Lynae

    This is so powerful. Stanley’s story just hits you and Byran has you laughing. But the truth of the message lingers.

  • http://www.lynnrush.com Lynn Rush

    You’re right. They’ll try nearly anything, huh? I didn’t expect that ending, with the son and all. Nice job writing, Billy.

  • http://writingwithoutpaper.blogspot.com Maureen

    He was just trying to bring the pain into the light.

  • http://churchrobin.blogspot.com Robin Arnold

    I could just pinch your cheek! You are a blessing.

  • http://stressed-jess.blogspot.com Jessica Burk

    Once again another wonderful and thought-provoking story told by you! I have to admit, you got me on this one….I was giggling at the thought of the two of you in the convenience store and was immediately brought to seriousness when I read about the 4-year old. Amazing…and so true. People are so often judged by their outward actions…we all need to look past the outside and see the hurt on the inside.

  • http://www.coffeewithmarty.com Coffee With Marty

    I know a very similar story like this, although the father backed over his own son on a skid loader. I cannot imagine the anguish, nor the tears that were shed for this situation.

    Although it’s been a rough, bumpy road of acceptance and tears since the accident, the family has rested in the fact that their little boy is resting in the arms of the Beloved. The hand of God has been ever present in their lives, and given them the ability to cope first, and then to begin living again.

    It is my prayer that somehow you can meet Stanley, and somehow shoulder the burden, offering him comfort and an answer…. I know you have it in you, Billy.

  • http://blog.breakthroughalaska.com jasonS

    Yep, I’ve done an ear candle before (under the watchful supervision of my wife). It’s not that bad, but you do feel very ridiculous.

    As for the actual point of your post, I agree. There comes a point we will do anything we can to get the pain out. That’s why we need Jesus.

  • http://www.breakinpencils.blogspot.com Meagan

    You write a lot like my dad, which is a very good thing. Beautiful story.

  • Caroline

    What Jason S said in his second sentence. The post had me laughing and then seriousness

  • http://www.binaspad.com Bina

    oh you suckered me in with the comedy and the laughter and the head cocked over to the side as I envisioned Bryan with honeycomb… oh so true…in so many ways. must be a day about addiction as the theme is really hitting home for me today :)

  • http://buzzbyannies.blogspot.com Annie K

    The unfortunate thing about alcohol is that it’s used to numb the pain but it only makes it worse.

  • http://togetherforgood.wordpress.com Erin

    I laughed, and then I didn’t anymore. So thankful for a Savior who willingly bears my pain.

  • http://godsheart-heart2heart.blogspot.com Kat

    Billy,

    Once again great lesson that goes right alongside your beautiful way to tell a story. It grieves me to think of the depths of what people will do to make the pain go away.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  • http://www.herigns.blogspot.com Marni

    I did not see that one coming. Now I’m in tears. This was so good Billy…

  • http://katshappyathome.blogspot.com Kathy

    I totally agree with you. This broke my heart and not just because it is a sad story. I lost my son in 2001 and know all about trying to get the pain out.

  • http://susan-moment.blogspot.com/ Susan

    we are quite adept at self-inflicting pain to either cover or try to heal the core of pain … you tell it well

  • http://iamapistachio.blogspot.com Rebecca

    Beautifully told.

    On a side note, I have heard people who swear by ear candling. I even bought one once, never used it. With my clumsiness I’m sure I would have scorched my ear off.

  • http://www.keligwyn.com Keli Gwyn

    I agree with what many have already said. You’re an amazing storyteller. I can’t wait to read your book.

  • http://www.areyouthere-god.com Missy

    Wow Billy. You definitely came out of nowhere with that one.
    It really is true that people will do anything to get rid of the pain. Anything.

  • Maru Benz

    That’s why your such a good writer, take me from laughing heartily to big fat tears rolling down my face in the space of 10 seconds. Your right, we will do just about anything to get rid of the pain.

  • http://tsholo.wordpress.com/2010/02/20/reads-of-the-week-2010-6/ Reads of the week – 2010 – 6 « Hope In Love

    [...] Getting the pain out (What I learned today – Billy Coffey – @billycoffey) [...]

  • http://www.joyinthisjourney.com Joy, @reesespbc

    I just sat here and stared at the screen for awhile. Stanley is me, except it’s my 8-yr-old daughter in the cemetery 1 mile down the road (and she didn’t die of cancer), and I’m *just* drinking once every day or two… but the truth is I’m thinking about it more and more. Her birthday is next week and I just want to take a few bottles of wine, crawl into bed, and drink and sleep it away. I keep telling myself the bottle holds only empty promises of peace.

  • http://keepingon.launchrocketship.com Kay

    Just a note: I’ve used ear candles. They work. And yeah, it’s dangerous to do them ALONE! You should have someone else tending the candle for you. The only other danger is if you actually shove it way down in your ear, but that’s just plain stupid anyway. If you actually follow the directions it works great and feels REALLY good! I have chronic fluid buildup that sometimes gets so compacted that even the doctors’ picks can’t get it out. So I understand the purpose.

    Not that this has anything to do with the actual point of your post. Just sayin’. But I do like your point.