Billy Coffey
Billy Coffey

In the Meantime

February 9, 2010  

IMG_2331It’s no secret that a father and son can bond over just about any activity regardless of the location or the conditions. This includes the middle of the driveway during a blizzard, which is where my son and I found ourselves over the weekend doing some big guy work.

The wind howled and the snow blew, smacking into our faces like a thousand tiny needles. The cowboy hat and three-day beard was enough to keep me conscious, but I worried about him. Worried despite the seven layers his mother had put on him before he followed me outside. I stood there with shovel in hand and regarded him—sweats/jeans/shirt/sweater/snowsuit/coat, followed by scarf/toboggan/hat. He couldn’t even put his arms to his sides.

“You look like a camouflage starfish,” I told him.

“Awesome,” he said.

We were, of course, the only people idiotic enough to be outside. Everyone else in the neighborhood was sitting by the fire waiting things out. Not us. No sir. We Coffeys are hearty stock. A few snowflakes weren’t gonna keep us down. It was our job to care for the Ponderosa.

So we set to work, me with my huge shovel with the orange plastic blade and he with the pint-sized model that fit his five-year-old hands. Shoveled and scooped and tossed. Also froze. Halfway to the edge of the road my son sputtered and stalled.

He sat down on a pile of snow that was almost as tall as he was and said, “Dad, I need Life Alert.”

“You need what?”

“Life Alert. Like those old people on the TV.”

“Why do you need Life Alert?”

“Because the lady says so. ‘All…senior…citizens…should…have…Life Alert.’ That’s what she says.”

“That was a pretty good impression,” I told him. “But you’re not a senior citizen.”

“When will I be?”

I scooped up more snow and said, “About sixty years.”

“That’s a long time. Are you a senior citizen?”

“Feels like I am right now,” I answered. “But technically no. Not for another thirty years or so.”

He sat silent for a few minutes, long enough for me to make four trips across the driveway and back.

Then, “When can I be a grownup like you?”

“It’ll be a while yet,” I told him. “Don’t you like being a kid?”

“Nobody likes being a kid. Kids can’t do stuff. I can’t wait to be a grownup.”

I nodded because I understood. When I was five, all I wanted to be was fifteen. At fifteen all I wanted to be was twenty-one. Now that I was thirty-seven, I secretly wanted to be five again. Such was life, I supposed. We spend so much of it wanting to be somewhere or someone else.

“I think you just need some patience,” I said.

“You mean I should be a doctor?” he answered, and then fell over into the snow laughing at his attempt at humor.

I leaned on my shovel and watched as he tried and failed to pick himself up. All those layers made him about as nimble as a turtle on its back. But rather than battle his plight, he simply embraced it and made a snow angel.

I lifted him up and brushed the snow off his clothes.

“No,” I said. “I mean patience like…patience. Like being able to wait for something.”

“Okay Dad,” he said.

The eloquent and wise life lesson I thought would come next never did. My son dropped the conversation like the gum that spilled from his mouth, kicked and then buried and then forgotten. I suppose that’s for the best. There are things you teach your kids and things they must teach themselves. Patience, I thought, was one of the latter. Not because I didn’t want to teach it to him, but because I had yet to really learn it myself.

Besides, I thought he would be okay. I had the evidence there with me in the snow. Patience is a hard thing to find when what you’re waiting to get is a lot better than what you already have. And even though my son wanted to grow up quick, I could tell he was quite content with being a kid.

Maybe that’s the secret. Not just to patience, but to life itself. We’ll always be waiting for something. Maybe the trick is to have fun in the meantime.

 

This post is part of the One Word at a Time blog carnival on Patience. To read more, visit my friend Bridget Chumbley.

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Comments

  • http://joyce-fromthissideofthepond.blogspot.com Joyce

    I liked the peek into father son bonding. Kids are great illustrators of life’s most important lessons. I enjoyed this one…

  • http://www.BridgetChumbley.com Bridget

    Your son is very wise and funny… must make his mom and daddy very proud! It is sad how we all wanted to grow up so fast, and now most of us would love to go back and do things differently. We would enjoy being a child for as long as possible before the reality of adulthood set in…

    Thanks for this story, Billy… it is a great reminder to enjoy the current journey I’m on… before I blink and it’s over!

  • http://building-his-body.blogspot.com/ Anne Lang Bundy

    Perfect! Learning patience by being too impatient to wait for clearing the driveway …

  • http://www.redletterbelievers.com David @ Red Letter Believer

    Patience and children…what a concept! What a diverse parallel.

    David
    http://www.redletterbelievers.com

  • http://www.gettingdownwithjesus.blogspot.com Jennifer @ GDWJ

    Great advice for us impatient Iowans. I’ve been literally snowed in by a drifted driveway for most of the winter. No kidding.

    But you just wait. Before long, I’ll be griping about the mosquitos in June and the hot July nights and I’ll be impatiently begging for fall to come again.

    So yeah … there’s much to be said for having fun in the now, and never looking too far ahead.

  • http://faithfictionfriends.blogspot.com Glynn

    And that is the trick – to have fun in the meantime. We think waiting is a processed to get us to something — when it may be the point. Good post, sir.

  • http://lexiconluvr.blogspot.com L.T. Elliot

    What a cutie! I could use some “patients” these days. ;)

  • http://lauraboggess.blogspot.com laura

    A special moment. One I bet he’ll remember even though he seemed to let if drop so quickly.

    Patience is shoveling the amount of snow it looks like you all got! wow. that’s big fun.

  • http://www.thisrestlessheart.com/ Kelly Langner Sauer

    Fantastic. Really, really on point. Your kids are so blessed to have you and your heart.

  • http://www.recoveryourjoy.blogspot.com Louise

    What a beautiful story!

    Thank you for sharing it so eloquently.

  • http://www.springofjoy.org Angie

    I love this! I’ve learned a great deal of perspective from my littles and watching them through this most recent snowfall has been a true delight as they have lived in the moment, relishing today. “Have fun in the meantime.” Very poignant.

  • http://www.taterhouse.blogspot.com Ryan Tate

    Love it, thank you.

    When you’re stuck, can’t get up, and are getting impatient just stop, EMBRACE it, and make some snow angels.

  • http://amysorrells.wordpress.com Amy Sorrells

    Amen, Billy!

  • http://NickGeek.com Nick the Geek

    I have to admit that I’m kinda jealous of your child. My 5 and 6 year olds have pretty bad speech problems. Well, the 6 year old is much better from speech classes, but the 5 year old has a really hard time getting his point across. If this has happened to us he would have said “I neb wife alwer.” I would have asked and he would have said the same thing louder as if I had a hearing problem. It would continue back and fort with me trying to figure out what each word meant without any context to help me until we were both frustrated.

    Secretly I’m jealous of parents that can talk more readily with their kids.

  • http://www.theheartofwriting.blogspot.com Cynthia Schuerr

    A lovely post of a moment that will certainly be a wonderful memory between father and son. I love the humor and innocence of it. And the message ….. profound.

  • http://lynnmosher.blogspot.com Lynn Mosher

    LOL! Billy-boy, I laughed so hard that I almost woke up hubby! (He’s not feeling well and sleeping in!) What a great story! I love the great innocence and humor of kids. So glad you have a record of all these accounts. I wish I’d written down my precocious granddaughter’s words. She’s such a hoot! Why I didn’t, I haven’t a clue! Always love your insights. Your kids are so lucky to have such a patient dad!

  • http://www.moonboatcafe.com Cassandra Frear

    Love this post. I reminds me so much of my husband and sons. In fact, I am emailing the link to him. I’m also posting about this in my sidebar on Apple Pie.

    Blessings to you. Keep shoveling.

  • http://www.herigns.blogspot.com Marni

    If I shoveled all that, I’d need Life Alert too. Just sayin.

    This was awesome…as always! I don’t comment more often that I do because I love each post more than the last and I’d always be on here being the dork that says “I love this!” So now you know why I’m silent :-)

    PS–I love this!!

  • http://churchrobin.blogspot.com Robin Arnold

    Small boys are about as funny as they come. Give your son a squeeze for me.

  • http://blog.breakthroughalaska.com jasonS

    I was thinking the same as Nick- I have a hard time with my two little ones as they are sometimes pretty difficult to understand (they’re 5 and 6). Doesn’t change the fact that I thought this was a great post. :)

  • http://sandraking-beholding-god.blogspot.com/ Sandra Heska King

    He DOES need a Life Alert. Isn’t that the “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” lady?

    Love the camouflage starfish.

  • http://thereluctanthomefront.blogspot.com Rebecca

    Patience, I thought, was one of the latter. Not because I didn’t want to teach it to him, but because I had yet to really learn it myself.

    Boy, do I know how that feels! Especially with this mess we’re dealing with right now, I could use a snowpile’s worth of patience. My parents always told me that it was something you earned, not something you learned…guess I haven’t waited long enough yet. (Don’t tell anyone, lord knows I don’t want to wait through another deployment just to earn it!)

  • http://eghamlin.com/Blog Ed Hamlin

    Awesome story, it reminds me of a trip to Montana at Christmas back in the 70’s. I snowed for three days straight and all we did was run around the mountains like we were Jeramia Johnson

  • http://www.orderdrugs.ca/buy_tramadol.html fairyform

    Beautiful. Your child takes after you when it comes to his keen observation skills concerning life and people. You’re right about patience. It is something that we earn and develop as we learn to find our way through life with the passing of the years. Even as adults, I don’t think any of us have learned how to be patient enough to take on the challenge of putting up with life’s many surprises.

  • http://www.eternallyme28.blogspot.com lunatica

    Beautiful. Your child takes after you when it comes to his keen observation skills concerning life and people. You’re right about patience. It is something that we earn and develop as we learn to find our way through life with the passing of the years. Even as adults, I don’t think any of us have learned how to be patient enough to take on the challenge of putting up with life’s many surprises.

  • http://buzzbyannies.blogspot.com Annie K

    At least we’ve got Marni talking about being silent recorded somewhere. snort!

    Very nicely said Billy! (I’m not going to get all mushy like Marni.)

  • http://www.teawithtiffany.com Tiffany Stuart

    Another powerful story from you. Thank you.