Billy Coffey
Billy Coffey

Mondays with Jack

April 19, 2010  

image courtesy of photobucket.com

image courtesy of photobucket.com

My son says, “Daddy, is it Monday?”

“Yep, sure is.”

“Okay. Well then I guess I’ll shut the door and go to bed.”

“Shut the door?” I ask him. “Why should you shut the door?”

“Because it’s Monday,” he says. “Mom says you turn into a crazy man on Mondays.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Oh, really? I had no idea.”

He shrugs and says, “She says it’s Jack’s fault. And you do sound crazy. So I guess I’ll shut my door so I can sleep. Who’s Jack?”

“No one you know,” I say. And I smile, because he is right and she is right. I do tend to lose a little control on Mondays. And it is because of Jack.

When I first met Jack Bauer, he was interrogating a child molester who had been granted immunity in return for information he had about a supposed terror cell bent on detonating a nuclear bomb in Los Angeles. Jack was frustrated. The bomb was set to go off in two hours. The endless lawyer-wrangling and red tape was ensuring a win for the bad guys, and Jack was determined to not let the bad guys win.

Extreme measures had to be taken. Jack had to find a way to infiltrate the cell and put an end to the whole mess, but he needed to be trusted by the terrorists. He had to make them think he was on their side.

So he did what any good anti-hero would do. He shot the child molester in the chest, turned to his stunned boss, and said, “I’m gonna need a hacksaw.”

I remember eating a bowl of ice cream while watching that episode. I remember dropping my spoon into the bowl when Jack pulled his gun and fired. Remember staring wide-eyed with vanilla oozing from the corners of my mouth when he made the “hacksaw” comment.

And I remember whispering to myself, “That…was…awesome.”

Thus began my eight-year friendship with Jack Bauer. I’ve never missed an episode of 24 since. I’m not ashamed of that, either. I am a peaceful man. By no means a pacifist, but neither violence-hungry. But if you’ve taken the time to get to know that character and that show, then you understand. Jack Bauer is everything most are not but maybe secretly wish they could be. He is unafraid and confident and determined. He has a clear distinction between good and evil. And though the needle on his moral compass may be bent at times, it always points due north.

I could leave it at that, and for the sake of my family probably should. But I don’t. Because whether it’s the action or the tension or the characters, I get sucked in every time. And it’s noisy. Just ask my son.

A typical Monday night will find me on the sofa and my wife in the recliner. That way she figures she’s close enough to talk to me during commercials but far enough away during the show that her eardrums won’t burst when I yell things like, “KILL him, Jack! KILL. HIM!!”

“I hate this show,” my wife will say between papers to grade.

“Shh!” I’ll answer. “It’s the good part.”

“You think all of it is the good part.”

“Shh!” I’ll say, then, “Kill him!”

This goes far beyond mere vengeance against the bad guys, though. I scream at other people on the show, too.

I call the politically-correct White House staff idiots.

I call the inept higher-ups pansies.

And I call whomever happens to try and prevent Jack from saving the world…well, never mind.

Childish, I know. Childish and maybe more than a little barbaric. I should act better. Be better. And I usually am. Just not on Mondays.

It’s tough keeping yourself in control sometimes. It’s hard to turn the other cheek and love people as yourself and do unto others as you’d have them do unto you.

It’s a process, our becoming. It’s standing up and moving on and knowing all the while that we’ll fall again.

This is the last season of 24. My wife and children are joyous at that. Me, I’m not. I’m going to miss Jack. I’m even going to miss my yelling. Because it’s a good reminder that we can’t always be whom we’re supposed to be because we’re always stuck with who we are.

This post is part of the One Word at a Time Blog Carnival: Self Control, hosted by Bridget Chumbley.

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Comments

  • Katdish

    I am completely hooked on 24 and I blame you completely. I have purchased Season 2, and I will no doubt purchase the rest when I finish watching this set.

    Expect a bill for these shortly…

    Jack Bauer, you had me at “I’m gonna need a hacksaw.”

  • http://www.randommusings-helen.blogspot.com Helen

    I used to yell like that at the McLaughlin Group, but it got on Bob’s nerves, so I watched wrestling instead. Now when I need to shout, I watch The View.

    Believe me, Billy, I TOTALLY understand!

  • http://thinkingtoodeeply.blogspot.com Karin

    Oh, sigh, what’s the use……………….. I’m with your wife……………. I’ve got a hubby who loves action stuff with gratuitous blood, and guts, and gore……I just can’t put that kind of stuff before my eyes and not have it touch my soul. And, if I heard, “I’m going to need a hacksaw,” I’d be turning the TV off! Different strokes for different folks!

  • http://katshappyathome.blogspot.com Kathy

    I so love Kiefer Sutherland so it’s shocking to me that I never watched that show. Not even once. I’m sorry….:) And sorry your fave will be ending.

  • http://faithfictionfriends.blogspot.com Glynn

    We’ve been watching a British drama series called M1-5 that’s had 8 seasons of 10 episodes each. We are halfway through, stayed glued to the TV during dinner (so 1950s!), and call Netflix when the next disc doesn’t come immediately (I did this yesterday.) Most of the original cast has been pensioned off, shot or disappeared, and it doesn’t matter.

    I tell my friends I can’t watch 24 because I’ll get hooked.

  • http://debholmes1.blogspot.com Deb

    LOL

  • http://www.pridelandsmommy.blogspot.com *~Michelle~*

    I feel your pain about it being the last season……

    ….it is the last season of LOST and, well…..I am going to be lost when it is over (yeah, that was corny)

    But seriously can relate to being drawn into a show.

    I also yell at the TV during game shows like Price is Right and Wheel of Fortune….how can they buy a vowel!?!?!?!?!?

    (ok, I’ll stop before I really look pathetic)

  • http://bulletsandbutterlflies.blogspot.com/ Russell Holloway

    Funny … :-)

  • http://joyce-fromthissideofthepond.blogspot.com Joyce

    We will have some serious withdrawal symptoms here too….my husband spent the whole first season shouting at Jack to ‘just shoot him in the knee’…after a few seasons he realized Jack was going to be far more creative than that.

    I linked to your blog in my post today…I always love reading here.

  • http://twitter.com/jpwire Jay

    Just so you know, I heard they were going to do a 24 movie. That should make your day. You can yell in the theater.

  • http://www.ubervu.com/conversations/www.billycoffey.com/2010/04/mondays-with-jack/ uberVU – social comments

    Social comments and analytics for this post…

    This post was mentioned on Twitter by Doallas: RT @katdish: Mondays with Jack. New post by @billycoffey http://bit.ly/bFDcYc…

  • http://www.moonboatcafe.com Cassandra Frear

    And I say, Go FOR IT.

    We need more crazy guys like this in our world.

  • http://keepingon.launchrocketship.com Kay

    Wow, Billy. 24 aside (sorry, I’ve never even seen it), the concept you’ve explained in this entry is enough to make me think you’ve been reading my emails! Seriously, I was JUST writing a response to an email on a topic almost identical in the being-who-you-should-vs.-being-who-you-are aspect.

  • http://cheriehillblog.blogspot.com Cherie

    As usual…you have succesfully made me laugh out-loud! I love your son’s comments which so adequately and successfully reflect your wife’s. I’m pretty certain God wants you to be “Billy” and not “Jack.” LOL
    With joy,
    Cherie

  • http://www.sarahsalter.com Sarah Salter

    I’ve seen 24 exactly twice. Once during the first season and once this season. So, I can’t really speak to that addiction…

    I, however, can speak to the yelling at the TV part. One of my favorite things about living alone is that I can stand in the middle of my living room floor, about 3 feet away from the TV, and holler at ball games and there’s nobody there to say anything about it. And I’d like to say that it’s just during ball games, but it’s not. Any show is fair game. (I particularly enjoy talking to Gibbs during episodes of NCIS…)

  • http://arise2write.blogspot.com andrea

    I, like your wife do not like to watch 24, but my hubby likes it. We do the same thing. I stay close enough to chat during commercials, but far enough away to focus on my book or writing. We are all certainly unique in what we like. I am still working toward the person GOD would have me to be….marching forward…trying not to slip backwards.
    Blessings,
    andrea

  • http://barbarasthinline.blogspot.com barbara

    I love Jack too. My husband and I watch it together, but we watch it on DVD. That way we don’t have to wait a whole week to see the next episode and “chat” during commercials:) Of course, now we’ve caught up to real time and have to wait until this eighth season is over so we can purchase it on DVD.
    And we must be totally twisted, cause we both cracked up when Jack said he’d need a hacksaw:)

  • http://www.lynnrush.com Lynn Rush

    I hear about the show 24 all the time on facebook and twitter. I’ve never seen a show. Never understood the attraction. But then again, I don’t watch much TV at all…except a little Idol. :-)

  • http://www.katieganshert.blogspot.com Katie Ganshert

    This entire post had me laughing out loud.

  • http://writingwithoutpaper.blogspot.com Maureen

    I admit it: I’m the only one here who has never seen a single episode of a single season of that singular man Jack Bauer on 24.

  • http://duane-scott.net Duane Scott

    Maureen, I’m with you. I haven’t seen an episode either.

  • http://WriteOnRideOn.blogspot.com Janet Lyn

    Billy, I’ve watched enough episodes of 24 to completely understand what you said about Jack. I, too, am a very non-violent person, but somehow I love when Jack does what needs to be done for the cause of justice in this world and does it swiftly and boldly. For me, I admit it helps that Jack ~aka Keifer Sutherland~ is also easy on the eyes.
    I get like that when I watch movies where someone stands up to injustice no matter what. I have been known to speak out loud or ok, even yell aloud, “YES!!!” when that happens. Like in the Pelican Brief when Denzel Washington and Julia Roberts triumph in the end after nearly losing their lives in the cause of setting things right. And many more examples than there is room to print here.
    I’ve been without a working TV for awhile now so have missed lots of recent Jack. I think I’ll be needing to rent the DVD sets soon…..Thanks for reminding me.

  • http://melissabrotherton.com Melissa Brotherton

    Last summer my husband and I started season 1 of 24 because we’d heard so many people talking about it. We actually joined Netflix for that specific reason. Jack is intense!! We also found ourselves yelling at the screen. :) I had to stop watching because I’m pregnant & don’t want to put myself into preterm labor…but I’d like to start Season 3 soon. Haha!

  • http://togetherforgood.wordpress.com Erin

    I had to stop watching 24 when I got to the point that my heart would race through the entire episode every. single. time. That’s just not good for a person.

  • http://www.sonlightblog.com/ Luke Holzmann

    That was awesome. As was the moment he’s on the phone with his daughter and tells her: Shoot him again.

    [smile]

    Oh yeah.

    ~Luke

  • http://www.tulipgirl1979.blogspot.com/ Katie

    There is a wildness in all of us, especially so in men, that living in an organized society needs an outlet a place to run, roar and be its generally wild self. 24 and imagining we are Jack’s side kick or imagining we are Jack is just such one of those outlets. Its a very good show.

  • http://www.justsaytheword.wordpress.com nAncY

    hit the road jack
    and don’t ya come back
    no more
    no more
    no more
    no more
    hit the road jack
    and don’t ya come back no more
    yeah
    and don’t ya come back no more

  • http://blog.breakthroughalaska.com jasonS

    Well, sad to say I’ve never seen an episode. I knew from the beginning that each episode was sequential and I didn’t have a DVR back then. I don’t watch Lost either because I never could keep up.

    My wife makes comments too about shows and how “it takes the peace out of the house” (sometimes even just the commercials for these shows). I understand what you’re saying here, Billy! Wait, you were making a point about self-control… maybe I need to re-read this. :)

  • http://lorilundquist@blogspot.com Lori Lundquist

    LOVE Jack Bauer.
    I laughed at the hacksaw comment too. I don’t need to question if I have a twisted sense of humor – I so KNOW that I do. And I make no excuse! ;-)
    There WILL BE a movie, so we can look forward to that.
    Thanks for sharing your “Jack” side with us, Billy. Write on!

  • http://susan-moment.blogspot.com/ S. Etole

    Tell me again …. Jack who???

  • http://sandraking-beholding-god.blogspot.com/ Sandra Heska King

    Too funny. I’m in the “I’ve never watched 24 and have no idea who Jack is” crowd.

  • http://lauraboggess.blogspot.com laura

    I love a good show that gets my heart pumping. Especially when the good guys win.

  • http://www.BridgetChumbley.com Bridget

    I’ve heard how amazing this show (and Jack) are, but haven’t yet watched an episode. My BIL says he’ll loan us the DVD’s over the summer if we want them.

    I think from what I’ve read, you’d recommend it highly.

    Great post, Billy. “We’re always stuck with who we are” … isn’t that the truth?!

  • http://recoveryourjoy.blogspot.com Louise

    I so love your writing. don’t care what’s happening on 24 (please don’t shoot me) — but reading what you wrote, I care Jack Bauer will soon be gone.

    Great story-telling!

  • http://redclaydiaries.com Steph

    Another person who’s never watched 24 here. My hubby hasn’t either. But we know all about yelling at the TV. During football season.

    Our 14yo dog spent the first 13 years of her life running and hiding during NFL games once Charlie’s shouting began. (Now she’s deaf, so she sleeps right thru it.)

    Charlie especially likes the really good “hits.” He always shouts “BOOM!!! HahaHAAAAH!” and startles me from the book I’m reading.

  • http://staceysthoughtsoninfertility.blogspot.com Stacey

    Awesome. Jack Bauer is awesome and this post is awesome.

    *Sigh*
    I will miss 24 after this season is over!! :(

  • Hucklebuck

    The world could use more Jacks. And Chloes.

  • http://caryjo-roadrunner.blogspot.com Joanne Norton

    Never watched it… usually watch only “sweetness and light”. But sure enjoyed your description of that part of life and the other bits that bring out hollering. We could well be walking through a lot of hollering in our culture in the not-too-distant future, and your lungs should be well prepared.

  • http://lexiconluvr.blogspot.com L.T. Elliot

    You know what I love about this post, Billy? I totally saw the “kid within.” I was laughing my head off and thinking to myself that sometimes, a little indulgence isn’t all that bad. ;)