Billy Coffey
Billy Coffey

Mike and Sarah

May 21, 2010  

image courtesy of photobucket.com

image courtesy of photobucket.com

Mike and Sarah, two friends of mine, celebrated their wedding anniversary last week. Ten years and going strong. They’re the type of couple who seem to belong with one another. More than partners and lovers and best friends, they’re as deeply in love with one another as they were those many years ago.

Their time together hasn’t always been wonderful. There have been bumps in the road. Mike lost his job eight years ago and struggled to find new work. What he eventually found paid far less than what they were used to. Three years ago, Sarah miscarried their first child. They’re still trying (and succeeding) to put that behind them. In between were bills that went unpaid, the deaths of Sarah’s mother and Mike’s sister, and a flooded home.

Like I said, not wonderful.

However.

If you talked to them, you might just be led to think otherwise. Mike and Sarah shrug off their troubles. No big deal, they say. Stuff happens to everyone. And while that’s true, it could easily be said that the sort of stuff that happens to them doesn’t really happen to everyone, at least not so clumped together. It wouldn’t be much of a stretch to say all that bad would put a strain on even the strongest relationship. But Mike and Sarah have not only endured, they’ve grown closer in the process.

Ask them why, and their answer might surprise you. It isn’t their shared faith, though that’s certainly a major factor in their marital success. It isn’t some fostered hope of a better future that’s waiting just around the bend, either.

No, the answer is a much simpler one. One that was learned ten years ago on their wedding day.

Sarah began planning her wedding when she was eight years old. That’s not an exaggeration. Every girl wants to be a princess on her big day, and every girl deserves to be. Sarah was no exception. So when Mike proposed, the wheels of fate and twenty years worth of dreams became a freight train that couldn’t be stopped.

There were literally hundreds of flowers. Ten bridesmaids. An orchestra. A choir. Wine. Dancing. Enough candles to turn evening into noon.

It was the sort of affair that demanded remembrance. That part worked. Because there is no doubt everyone will remember Mike and Sarah’s wedding.

It began innocently enough. There was music, then the groom and his party, then the bridesmaids, and then Sarah, making that walk down the aisle with her father that she’d always dreamed.

Little did she or anyone know that at that very moment, Mike burped. And it wasn’t the normal sort of excuse-me burp. It was the serious kind. The kind that serves as a prelude to something much more serious.

Mike thought the sweating and shaking he woke up with that morning was nothing more than a case of pre-wedding nerves. No big deal, he thought. But as Sarah took her place beside him, Mike suddenly thought it was a very big deal. Very big.

Because it was there at that moment, in front of Sarah and God and a few hundred onlookers, that Mike could no longer contain what was bubbling up inside of him.

He threw up on his wife-to-be. On her dress, on her hands. And yes, on her face.

Chaos ensued. There were gasps and cries and at least one fit of laughter from the audience. Several of the bridesmaids had to make a quick escape before doing an uncontrollable impression of the groom.

Poor Mike was numb. Not only had he just gotten sick in front of family and friends alike, he’d just yarked on the one woman he loved most in this world, and on the day she’d spent her whole life planning. He was sorry and scared and sick at the same time.

All the attention was focused on the bride. On poor, poor Sarah. Standing there with her arms outstretched and a bit of digested Cheerios dangling from her veil.

She had every right to be upset. Every right to stomp and scream, “NOT FAIR!”

But she didn’t. What she did do was comfort the man she had pledged herself to. She grabbed him before he could stumble, wiped the mess from her eyes, and said, “It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay.”

The service was postponed while everyone changed and gathered themselves. When the bride and groom walked back down the aisle, it was more of a crawl. She propped him up the whole way.

That was their first lesson in marriage. And it was maybe the most important one.

Because it isn’t all about the fairy tale. There’s a lot of mess involved.

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Comments

  • http://building-his-body.blogspot.com/ Anne Lang Bundy

    There’s a lot of mess involved … I LOVE this post!

    “For better or worse, til death do us part …” The only thing to keep a marriage together is the God who enables us to endure the worse and persevere to the death. The reward is feeling His pleasure in our love for each other that speaks of divine love between Christ and His bride.

  • http://aspiretoleadaquietlife.blogspot.com A Simple Country Girl

    Oh my land. That is some story. And I can relate as my just barely wedded husband suffered heat stroke (that is what happens with 90 degrees, outdoor weddings and full tuxes, not to mention all the heal-kickin’ and boot-stompin’) and nearly went down during the ceremony. Let’s just say our bliss began with cold compresses, sunburns, a fully-clothed swim in the lake, and a volatile stomach.

    Our honeymoon was also filled with all manner of excitement (sleeping in the back of my mom’s truck in parking lots–cuz who knew when you camp on the coast that you need reservations; seeing a body washed ashore; having the hotel water main turned off during my one and only shower of the trip; contracting some mysterious ailment where I yarked for 2 days before getting well enough to travel home–then we had to stop often for window chowder; once at the hometown ER, I had a severe reaction to an antibiotic that caused hallucinations and violent behavior–husband had to call another man to help hold me down for the trip back to the ER).

    And just think, I wouldn’t let him smear me with cake because I didn’t want a mess.

    Sorry this is so long. BTW, the way you wove the love and humor and reality and lessons is superb.

    Blessings.

  • http://www.heartrocklife.blogspot.com sharilyn

    wow. what a great story of a seemingly ill-fated beginning which was really only a shadow of the reality that was to come… not the bad stuff. the vomit. the mess. but the amazing dedication to and love for one another… through all the bad stuff. in spite of the mess. a deep and life-lasting love… walked out in daily life… a great big “i love you” shouted from day one. thank you for sharing this incredible love story… my heart is blessed!

  • http://www.asgoodadayasany.wordpress.com Marilyn Yocum

    So true. I’ve noticed people who think it’s about the fairy tale have a lot harder time of it….in marriage and in ministry. Nothing every lives up to expectations.

  • http://www.kellylangnersauer.com/blog Kelly Langner Sauer

    oh, oh, oh. Sarah just made me cry. “It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay…” Oh gosh. I can’t believe it. I wish I was her. I’d have lost it. wow. congratulations, Mike and Sarah. ya’ll are awesome.

  • http://hikingtowardhome.blogspot.com Just a lass hiking with Jesus

    Good woman! and there is a lot of mess involved, but life isn’t about the mess. What a relief.

  • http://topsy.com/trackback?utm_source=pingback&utm_campaign=L2&url=http://www.billycoffey.com/2010/05/mike-and-sarah/ Tweets that mention Mike and Sarah : Billy Coffey — Topsy.com

    [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Glynn Young, Jay. Jay said: RT @billycoffey Mike and Sarah : Billy Coffey http://bit.ly/9Hikpl [...]

  • http://www.sarahsalter.com Sarah Salter

    Wow… Talk about “in sickness and in health…” Classy girl, that Sarah. :-)

  • http://newdaynewlesson.com Susie

    Loved it!!!!!

  • http://heathersunseri.blogspot.com Heather Sunseri

    Digested cheerios? That’s disgusting! Thanks for the visual that will stay with me forever!

    Oh, but I also have a wonderfully sweet image of a bride and groom who will stick by each other through anything. There’s nothing that beats true love, for better or worse, in sickness and in health.

    Loved this story!

  • http://www.moonboatcafe.com Cassandra Frear

    Ick.

    I hate it that life does this to us.

  • http://hisfirefly.blogspot.com HisFireFly

    Oh my! My, oh my!

    What a perfect way to describe the truth that “there’s a lot of mess involved”

    Thanks Billy for images we will never forget and for sharing a love that endures

  • http://meganwillome.highcallingblogs.com Megan Willome

    Too bad I couldn’t use that story in the magazine’s recent Bridal&Beauty issue!

  • http://sixgreggs.blogspot.com Rebekah @ It Only Gets Better

    Wow. In lots of ways. Wow. Congratulations to Sarah and Mike! And thank you for their example.

  • http://iammommy.typepad.com Amanda

    I am pretty sure this is one of the best stories I have ever heard about a wedding… and when I say wedding I mean MARRIAGE!! You wrote it so wonderfully… and makes me want to be best freinds with sarah…. I mean… wow!

    Great share!

  • http://heatheragoodman.com Heather

    Well, they wanted to have a memorable wedding. I think they succeeded.

  • http://joyce-fromthissideofthepond.blogspot.com Joyce

    That just made me want to cry…too sweet! And that is not often said about a story involving undigested cheerios.

    When I was engaged my mom gave me a book called, After Every Wedding Comes a Marriage…sometimes we forget that part : )

    I love the Garrison Keillor quote that says, “The rules for marriage are the same as for a lifeboat. No sudden moves, don’t crowd the other person, and keep all disastrous thoughts to yourself.” Have a great weekend!

  • http://katshappyathome.blogspot.com Kathy

    Oh I loved this!

  • http://sandraking-beholding-god.blogspot.com/ Sandra Heska King

    Oh, what a memory! Sometimes life just upchucks all over us. And all that’s left to do is hold each other, clean up the mess, and move on.

    Inspirational story, and I only gagged once.

  • http://www.sharlascroggs.blogspot.com sharla

    Oh wow, that is awesome! Poor Mike, how embarrassing, but what an awesome woman he has! I’d like to think I’d have done that too with my husband, except I know I’d have been heaving too. My stomach wouldn’t have handled that! She’s my hero!

    I love your stories, Billy. I don’t know where you get the ideas to do this every day in such completion, but I look so forward to getting inspired by you daily. You are truly a blessing.

  • http://togetherforgood.wordpress.com Erin

    Yes.

  • http://susan-moment.blogspot.com/ S. Etole

    That should be required reading for every pre-wedding couple …

  • http://extraordinary-ordinary.com Heather of the EO

    Oh man, that’s rough. And then she showed such grace. Truly inspiring.

  • http://writingwithoutpaper.blogspot.com Maureen

    Oh, what love’ll do to you. Great story, Billy, although it’s so much more than a story.

  • http://blog.breakthroughalaska.com jasonS

    I went through disgust then laughter thinking about this. Great post and the lesson is a very real one! Thanks Billy.

  • http://www.randommusings-helen.blogspot.com Helen

    God bless her! I won’t say I’d've mad, but I would have surely questioned whether he REALLY wanted to get married or not…

  • http://www.hazel-moon-blog.blogspot.com/ Hazel Moon

    You could certainly tell that Sarah would be a perfect mom with her reaction to a mess!
    A truely terrific story !! I will pray that they will soon become parents!

  • http://godsheart-heart2heart.blogspot.com Kat

    Billy,

    I had no idea where this was going like most of your stories but this goes down in my book as one of the most memorable weddings and the woman of grace that Sarah truly is. She is a shining example of what we should all do when covered in a mess whether of our own making or not, simply wipe it off, smile and move on through it.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  • http://prairiebren.blogspot.com prairielady72

    My daughter just got married last month, and I have no idea what I would have done if Daniel had “yarked” on Ashlee. (I’m sorry about what happened to them, but I’m seriously laughing out loud at the word “yarked”)

    In all seriousness, they sound like a great couple. Bless their hearts. I know what it feels like to have trial after trial like that. Kudos to them for sticking it out.

  • http://recoveryourjoy.blogspot.com Louise

    “it isn’t all about the fairy tale. There’s a lot of mess involved.”

    And the reality is… we create fairytales or unions of grace.

    they’ve created the latter.

    Great post. Billy.

    I’m taking lessons from Mike and Sarah — they’ve got a great deal to teach me!

  • http://www.callwhenyougetthere.com Jenn Calling Home

    Quite possibly the worst wedding fiasco I have ever heard of, but handled with such grace. Now that’s what I call true love!

  • http://heyyall.typepad.com Jen L.

    Oh, bless her heart! What a wonderful story of love and grace. They sound like great people.

  • http://www.kristinlgray.blogspot.com Kristin Gray

    This might be my favorite post of yours yet. Thanks!

  • Barbara Frazier

    With a beginning like that. . .they had no where to go but UP! What a beautiful love story!

  • http://cheriehillblog.blogspot.com Cherie

    Loved the message within this post…life in general is “messy.” (to say the least!)
    Okay, so I have to share…I have been hearing commercials on the radio and thought to myself today…well, I know EXACTLY where Billy will be tonight…AND who he’ll be with…JACK!!!! Enjoy brother! Just wondering what your wife and little ones will be doing for two hours!?! LOL
    Blessings always,
    Cherie

  • http://myrnafoster.blogspot.com Myrna Foster

    Thanks for sharing this story. What a gal.

  • http://duane-scott.net/ Duane Scott

    I so would’ve been the person that laughed from the crowd. Then immediately, I would’ve felt guilty.

    You make marriage sound so scary.

    Makes me tremble a bit.

    But then I remember the relationship formed, and that no problems are enough to deter that type of a friendship. Who doesn’t want that?