Billy Coffey
Billy Coffey

A writer’s learning curve

June 25, 2010  

image courtesy of photobucket.com

image courtesy of photobucket.com

Though the homes in my neighborhood are equipped with modern necessities such as central air and electricity, it’s easy at times to think we sit on the border of unspoiled territory. Because for the most part, we do.

Across the road from my house sits about 30,000 acres of national forest, which is home to all manner of creepy crawlies. The boundary between civilized and not is clearly marked by a nearly straight line of neatly-kept backyards and a foreboding tree line of towering oaks.

Of course, neither man nor beast keeps to his own side. We all mingle with each other from time to time. Miles of trails leading into the mountains provide all a guy like me needs for feed his inner redneck. And as if to even things out a bit, everything from bear to deer to snakes to coyotes have been seen wandering our streets.

Most of us pay little mind to such intrusions, believing that the animals have just as much right to snoop around our homes as we have theirs. But there is one person in particular who is uneasy about the whole thing.

I speak of the kid down the road. Sixteenish and free for the summer. I remember the summer I turned sixteen, three glorious months of getting into more trouble than I’d ever gotten into in my life. Ask his father, and he’ll say he almost wishes his son would get into that same sort of trouble. Not a lot, mind you. But at least a little. After all, he’s sixteen. Trouble’s supposed to find you at that age.

But it hasn’t found him, mostly because he refuses to go outside. His days are spent staring out his bedroom window and writing about what he sees. He wants to write a book, he told his father. He’s serious about it. And while his father is supportive, he also knows it’s an excuse. His son doesn’t like his new home. Doesn’t like the small town or the big woods. He wants to go home to the city.

The family moved here from the city last year as the result of a job transfer. All this wildness suits mom and dad just fine, but not the boy. He woke up one morning in April to find a bear in the backyard. Found a snake on the deck a few weeks later. Though he refuses to admit it, they think it was all just a little too Wild Kingdom for him. So when school let out and he was free to do what he wanted, he retreated to the safety of the indoors.

He says he’s spending his time wisely. He’s writing. Working. There isn’t any time for much of anything else.

I heard about all of this the other night while out for an evening walk. His father was putting up a new mailbox, I stopped to say hello, and things just sort of went from there.

“He really is a good storyteller,” he told me. “Just wish he wouldn’t stay inside all the time. That can’t be healthy, can it?”

No.

Not for a kid. And especially not for a writer.

There are a lot of would-be authors out there who think it’s fine to stare out of their window and write about the world. They take their journey within themselves because they’re unwilling or afraid to go out.

I can’t blame them for that. I was once the kid down the road, too.

Not afraid of bears and snakes, but afraid to go out the door. To face life in all its glory and pain. Give me a nice desk and some paper instead. Let life leave me alone so I could write about it.

Sounds a little strange, doesn’t it? But that’s what I thought. And that’s what a lot of authors think.

There is a learning curve to writing, of course. First come the simple words and simpler thoughts, which through countless hours of practice becomes better words and greater thoughts. No one denies this.

But there is another learning curve to writing that often goes overlooked, and that is the experience of living. Of plunging headlong into life and daring to swim in both the clear and the murky waters, and then using pen and paper as a towel to dry yourself off.

You have to hurt. And suffer. You have to love and hate and believe and doubt. You have to fail and succeed.

And the only way to do that is to go out and live before you come in to write.

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Comments

  • http://www.koverb.blogspot.com Kathleen

    iLiked this better than anything. Well, since the last thing iLiked. The river seduced me today. These words were all sweetness and light …. the afterglow. Affirmation.

  • http://melissabrotherton.com Melissa Brotherton

    So true! I want to write, but I recognize that I have a lot more living to do before I have much of value to offer anyone. For now, people just get to experience my toddling.

  • http://www.tisagifttorceive.wordpress.com Anita Yoder

    Love and suffer, love and hate, believe and doubt. Out of that comes a story worth listening to. I needed to hear this–thanks!

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  • http://thoughtsthatmove.blogspot.com/ Wendy

    Ah, the experience of living. What a gift it is for a writer.

    I used to love our land as a kid. Me and my sister would spend hours trying to rid the creek of skunk cabbage, hacking away at it with all our might. Such memories.

    And sometimes the richest, most moving work comes from the deepest hurts overcome.
    ~ Wendy

  • http://heathersunseri.blogspot.com Heather Sunseri

    This is so true, Billy! I’m sad for that boy, but hopefully he’s using some of his time indoors to push through his fears. I hope he makes it outdoors soon!

    “You have to hurt. And suffer. You have to love and hate and believe and doubt. You have to fail and succeed.” I think I experience every one of those emotions on a daily basis.

    This post reminds me of the posts I’ve read when agents and publishers warn writers not to quit their day jobs too soon. Often times, they say, writers quit living when they stop getting out of the house to their day jobs. And their imaginative writing disappears. I’ve heard agents call it the “kiss of death” to an author’s writing career. That’s what they say, anyway. I dream of proving them wrong, but… (I think I’m fully capable of “living” without the demands of a day job beyond writing.)

  • http://thewriterrevived.blogspot.com/ Elizabeth Flora Ross

    That is especially true for me, since I write nonfiction and I write about my own life! My work would be pretty boring if I just sat and looked out a window. LIFE would be pretty boring! ;)

  • http://yourfamilystory-cmpointer.blogspot.com/ Caroline Pointer

    Beautifully eloquent. I’m a genealogist and family historian and am often found indoors researching and writing family stories. However, some of the best stories come from visiting where my ancestors lived and walking their walk, so to speak.

    Great post. Thank you.

    ~Caroline
    Family Stories

  • http://hikingtowardhome.blogspot.com Sharon

    I have one of these. She will go outside… but with a book in her hand to read up in a tree.

  • http://www.nebraskagraceful.blogspot.com Michelle DeRusha@Graceful

    There is so much truth here. For a while, I was so driven to write in the hopes of being published, I sacrificed pretty much everything else in my life. I stopped running and grew doughy in the thighs. I stopped watching TV (actually, this was a good thing). I stopped reading and quit my book club. I never went out with friends. I even stopped shopping. It was a dire situation.

    I felt dry and empty. A kind email from Rachel Held Evans snapped me back to reality. She said something about the fact that a writer needs to soak up life — that living and experience life feeds the creative spirit.

    It was excellent advice. Slowly I brought balance back into my life. And I’m happier overall because of it.

    This is a really wordy way of saying you offer excellent advice here — and so eloquently, as always!

  • http://www.joannesher.com Joanne Sher

    YES. Love this – and SO true. Life is so needed for writing to be true. Great stuff, Billy

  • http://aspiretoleadaquietlife.blogspot.com A Simple Country Girl

    Thank you.

    For all of it, but especially this: “Of plunging headlong into life and daring to swim in both the clear and the murky waters, and then using pen and paper as a towel to dry yourself off.”

    Blessings.

  • Jim H

    Good stuff, Billy! Thank you

  • http://hisfirefly.blogspot.com HisFireFly

    I want to be “using pen and paper as a towel to dry myself off”

    What an encouraging, yet challenging post Billy. You spur me on.

  • http://thebrokenquill.com ~Brenda

    This is exactly where I’m at. Or where I have been. I’m an introvert to the max. Add my physical struggles to that, and it’s a prescription for being that 16 year old boy. My particular health problems are very isolating. So I can be amongst people, and still feel very alone. So I figured, hey, why not just isolate myself as much as possible and write to my heart’s content?

    Not that easy when you have teens living in the house, who do not take on the same mindset as your neighbor.

    But even without my teens prodding me to leave the comfort of my big green, squishy chair by the window, I know it’s impossible to write without living. So, I get out there. I still have days and sometimes a week that will go by without much contact with the outside world. But for the most part, I’m succeeding in getting out there. And I really do look at that as a success … because it goes completely against the grain for me.

    Great post. Great encouragement. Thanks, Billy.

  • http://www.jumpingtandem.com deidra

    These words make me think of me. An earlier me, that is. The one that wanted to know what was around the next corner…but not really. The version of me that actually wanted there to be nothing around the corner because the current situation was enough, and well-controlled, and comfortable. This new me, however, has learned that getting up follows being knocked down, and joy truly does come in the morning. And the feeling of the blows that knock me to the ground are just as important as feeling the solid grip of the hand that reaches down to pick me up. And there can’t be the one without the other.

    You are wise, and your words are true. Always.

  • http://www.jeannedamoff.com Jeanne Damoff

    ” . . . daring to swim in both the clear and the murky waters, and then using pen and paper as a towel to dry yourself off.”

    Perfect description. Great post. Thank you.

  • http://www.breakinpencils.blogspot.com Meagan

    Your life is so interesting to me. I live in the city and we don’t talk to our neighbors. We might wave once in a while, but that is all. It seems like you know everyone in your town. And from reading your blog, I feel like I know them, too.

    As for the great outdoors, I’d have a hard time with that, too. I am terrified of snakes! :)

  • http://duane-scott.net/ Duane Scott

    That makes me sad for that boy. I find that anytime I can’t find something to write about, it is a direct result of not living. When I first started writing, I thought, “I’m going to run out of content.”

    But the truth is, all one has to do is look around them.

    Really GREAT post!

  • http://tonedeaftunes.blogspot.com Rebekah

    My sweetheart wrote this yesterday and I am so proud of him for saying it and I think it goes along with your post today.
    “If we are never tested by adversity than we will never know our resilience.”

  • http://joyce-fromthissideofthepond.blogspot.com Joyce

    Loved this! Life must be lived in order to be written.

  • http://katshappyathome.blogspot.com Kathy

    So very true! I love this! And I’m diggin’ the new picture of you above your about me section :) Looks nice.

  • http://theperkinsblog.net Michael

    Billy, your words have a way of making my heart smile.

  • http://www.kellylangnersauer.com/ Kelly Langner Sauer

    “But there is another learning curve to writing that often goes overlooked, and that is the experience of living. Of plunging headlong into life and daring to swim in both the clear and the murky waters, and then using pen and paper as a towel to dry yourself off.”

    You said it already. I’m listening. There’s a theme on the Interwebs today…

  • http://alittleofthisandthat2.blogspot.com/ Dayle

    Absolutely agree. Every experience in life, if we look and listen closely, offers food for thought, and inspiration for writing. Almost all of my work stems from life–either my own or that of another. Great advice, Billy. That’s not to say I don’t still stare out windows and write on occasion. LOL!

  • http://www.lisajordanbooks.com Lisa Jordan

    I live in a house charged with testosterone and smelly socks…theirs, not mine. They like to do things like hunt and fish. I didn’t mind fishing so much until my phobia of snakes has become so bad that I refuse to go near the water. The Allegheny National Forest is our backyard, so plenty of line crossing goes on…I prefer the snakes to stay out of my yard and I will stay out of theirs.

    Sometimes our insecurities keep us confined to our comfort zones where everything is nice and safe. What I’ve learned is God has plenty of opportunities in store for me, and if I put my trust in Him for the hard stuff, He will guide me outside of my comfort zone to receive many blessings. Still hasn’t worked for the snake thing yet though…

  • http://www.JanetOber.com Janet Oberholtzer

    This is so true. I’ve made myself stop ‘living’ for a few weeks as I try to meet a self-imposed deadline. I feel like I have no ’spirit’ left for life. Think I need to find some balance again …

  • http://blog.breakthroughalaska.com jasonS

    It’s all about experiences, isn’t it? We can confine ourselves to a mundane list of actions or open up to many great adventures, but we have to make the choice. I guess this kid will figure it out like we all do. Passion isn’t explored through work only. You have to live it and breathe it…

    Thanks Billy. Loved this post.

  • http://www.melissamarsh.net Melissa Marsh

    When I was in high school, I would write letters to my favorite authors, telling them that I didn’t WANT to go to college – I just wanted to write novels. One author wrote me back with some very sound advice – I needed to go experience life before I could really write those novels.

    She was absolutely right.

  • Lyn Churchyard

    I’m with the kid… bears? snakes? no thanks, I like my study just fine :-)

    Hey, maybe you need to take the kid on a writer’s excursion to do some descriptive writing.
    Think I might have to follow your blog, I see my buddy Joanne recommends it :-)

    blessings to you.

  • http://soulfari.blogspot.com/ Jay Cookingham

    Praying for that young man to be free…and to know who set him free.
    Thanks bro’

    Jay

  • http://susan-moment.blogspot.com/ S. Etole

    The freedom to live … even without the gift of pen … is a freedom to be desired.

  • http://www.charitysingleton.blogspot.com Charity Singleton

    I find that I sometimes even “waste” my experiences, though, by spending the whole time thinking about how I will write about it. Occupational hazard, I guess. Hard to just live without the writer’s interpretive stance kicking in. Love this post!

  • http://bethinnc.blogspot.com Beth

    Good advice Billy. Need to live and experience life before you can write about it. True! Maybe I need to live more myself.

    Have a super blessed weekend!
    Beth

  • http://lauraboggess.blogspot.com laura

    I find I write so much better after a good dose of experiencing stuff. Take that boy under wing, Billy. Does he know you have written a book?

  • http://jamey-unexpectedjourneys.blogspot.com/ Jamey

    Thought provoking…wonderful post!

  • http://newdaynewlesson.com Susie

    So well said.

  • http://www.extraordinary-ordinary.com Heather of the eo

    I really appreciate this post, Billy. Couldn’t agree more. It’s hard to write what you haven’t experienced. You can accidentally hit the mark with only imagination here and there, I’m sure….but it won’t last forever. It has to be lived. LONG LIVE (literally) THE WRITER! :)

  • http://www.gettingdownwithjesus.blogspot.com Jennifer@GDWJ

    Another great post, Billy. I know this is one of (MANY) reasons you excel at writing. You see life as the story that it is … and then you have a way of making it make sense for the rest of us.

    Thanks for that.