Billy Coffey
Billy Coffey

Stuck

August 6, 2010  

image courtesy of time-herald.com

image courtesy of time-herald.com

Last Thursday. Forecast—bad. Mood—sour. Level of angst and general hostility—great. A rare enough state for me. Thankfully though, it’s a condition that can easily be remedied by a cheeseburger and an order of onion rings, heavy on the grease.

So that’s what I do after work. And since I’m a giving sort of fella, I grab some nasty, artery-clogging food for my family, too.

There is only one more obstacle for me to overcome, and that is getting out of the parking lot. At ten in the morning or one in the afternoon, this would not be a problem. But it’s almost 5:00 now, which means I’m smack in the middle of what passes for rush hour around here.

The majority of the traffic is flowing from my right to my left, out of town. Where I need to go. Traffic from my left to my right into town is sparse, almost negligible. And since there is no turning lane, I can’t sneak out. I’m stuck.

The lady who pulls alongside to my right, however, is not. She’s heading the opposite direction into town.

The problem is she can’t see. Her car is one of those tiny little things that seem to run on a mixture of electricity and the hippie vibrations of Mother Earth. It looks like a roller skate. I, on the other hand, drive a massive, thumb-your-nose-at-the-energy-crisis SUV. She can’t turn right because she can’t see the traffic, which is the exact opposite reason why I can’t turn left. We’re both stuck.

However.

If there is one remedy for a bad mood that outperforms a cheeseburger and an order of onion rings, it’s doing a good deed. I look to my left to make sure there is no oncoming traffic, then look to her.

Go, I wave.

She stares at me.

I look again—go.

The woman inches out toward the edge of the road, craning her neck to look past my front bumper. She can’t see. She stops.

I check again. Still no traffic.

GO.

She shakes her head—No.

Fine.

I look to my right and see what seems to be five miles worth of cars, trucks, motorcycles, and motor homes. I’m going to be here a while. I look to my left again. Nothing.

The woman is still trying to inch her way past my bumper. The dance she does with her head to try and get an angle—any angle—to see is both strange and comical. She looks at me again.

GO!!

NO!!

Grr.

I take my right hand and make the universal sign for her to roll her window down. She does.

“The road’s clear your way,” I tell her.

She smiles and says, “I’ll wait.”

“I promise, it’s clear.”

Another smile, and a “Thanks, but I’m okay.”

I check the traffic again. She’s still clear. I’m still not. The thought finally crosses my mind that I could back up and let her see for herself, but there’s a truck behind me.

“Why won’t you go?” I ask her.

“Because I don’t trust you,” she says.

What?

“Why don’t you trust me?”

She shrugs. “Thanks, though!” she says, and then she tells me the conversation is over by rolling up her window.

I lean back in the driver’s seat and try to make sense of what’s just happened. Have I just been stereotyped? Profiled? Do I look untrustworthy? Was it my music (Trace Adkins) or my tattoo (sophisticated redneck)? I don’t know. All I know is that when I finally manage to pull out five minutes later, she takes off the same time I do.

Which I guess says something. It’s a lot easier to gain someone’s trust through your actions than your words.

That said, if you’re ever beside me and can’t see past my bumper, and if I happen to wave you on and say the way is clear, please go ahead and pull out onto the road.

You can trust me. I promise.

Share and Enjoy:
  • Print this article!
  • Digg
  • Sphinn
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • Mixx
  • Google Bookmarks
  • StumbleUpon
  • Technorati
  • Twitter

Filed under: Uncategorized
Tagged: ,

Comments

  • Katdish

    Pretty sure it was the tatt.

  • http://debholmes1.blogspot.com Deb

    Maybe it was the scowl you were wearing due to the dark mood you were in…!!??….or the trail of grease running down your chin from the fries you had just consumed. ;)

    Either way, you must have looked scary!

  • http://www.randommusings-helen.blogspot.com Helen

    See, I might have mistrusted my own observations about your signals… I may have believed you were gesturing with your hands while talking into a cell phone I can’t see, or something… But once you would have rolled down the windows and given me the all clear verbally, I’d've said thanks and gone. And my daddy, who used to tell me never to trust anyone, would have rolled in his grave. I’d be good with that. Me making him roll in his grave is the only exercise he will be getting until Resurrection Day. (That joke also makes him roll in his grave. I better stop before I wear him out…)
    Don’t feel bad about her saying she doesn’t trust you. It isn’t you, but the world we live in.

  • http://www.BridgetChumbley.com Bridget

    I’d have trusted you, Billy. Tattoo, SUV, onion rings, and all!

  • http://topsy.com/www.billycoffey.com/2010/08/stuck/?utm_source=pingback&utm_campaign=L2 Tweets that mention Stuck : Billy Coffey — Topsy.com

    [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Bridget Chumbley, Helenatrandom. Helenatrandom said: Stuck – http://www.billycoffey.com/2010/08/stuck/ by @billycoffey [...]

  • http://splittergewitter.blogspot.com Claudia

    you don’t look that untrustworthy to me…and i agree with you – a cheeseburger can make a big turn in ones mood…smiles

  • http://joyce-fromthissideofthepond.blogspot.com Joyce

    mmm. Onion rings.

    My youngest had a minor accident last spring…minor in that there were no injuries but I’m not sure there is any such thing as minor in cost anymore. Even a scraped bumper requires a whole new bumper. oops, tangent. Anyway, a nice lady in an SUV waved her out but someone came around the SUV and my daughter hit her. So I have drilled into my daughter’s head not to let anyone wave her out. Ever. Maybe this lady had a similar experience. I’m sure you are completely trustworthy, tatt and all.

  • http://heathersunseri.blogspot.com Heather Sunseri

    I can’t believe some woman in a roller skate didn’t trust you with her life. I think she was snubbing you for your “massive, thumb-your-nose-at-the-energy-crisis SUV.”

  • http://www.katieganshert.blogspot.com Katie Ganshert

    I would trust you, Billy!! On a different note….I trusted a person once who gave me an odd sort of wave. Apparently, their “wave” meant “no, don’t go” because I had to screech on my breaks and another car had to swerve and I had to use every portion of self-control not to give the person who “waved” me on a nasty look (okay, maybe I gave them one anyway). They looked at me like, “Why’d you go!?” and I looked back like, “Why’d you wave?!”

  • http://www.moonboatcafe.com Cassandra Frear

    Come to think of it, you do look a bit suspicious. LOL

  • http://www.joannesher.com Joanne Sher

    Being told, straight out, that you’re not trusted by someone would shock me too.

    And yeah, I’d trust you. If I KNEW it was you! :D

    Good stuff.

  • http://www.chattykelly.com Kelly Combs

    It wasn’t personal. I don’t trust people waving me around either. Why? Cause some idiot once waved me into oncoming traffic. Once burned, twice shy. I’ll bet she had a former idiot too. Hope today is a better day!

  • http://newdaynewlesson.com Susie

    I was so there with you. And the most frustrating is when you are in a bad mood and trying to do something nice and get rid of the mood and your your deed is brushed off.

    I think we must be riding the same energy wave this week. Can we both get rid of it together?

  • http://sandraheskaking.com Sandra Heska King

    Seems to me she could have skated right under your truck.

  • http://thoughtsthatmove.blogspot.com/ Wendy

    Driving 101 with Billy Coffey. Is it wrong I laughed at this? People have an amazing capacity to crack me up.

    We trust you, Billy. Go. Go. Go. And we’ll do the same.
    ~ Wendy

  • http://hisfirefly.blogspot.com HisFireFly

    Can’t fault you for feeling a bit offended by the lack of trust…

    Seems to lots of that going around lately. Even in church families – people are putting entirely too much trust in them “selves” and not enough in God.

    Makes it hard to build “real” relationships.

    Stay real. Stay who you are.

  • http://www.pridelandsmommy.blogspot.com *~Michelle~*

    HA! It takes all kinds, huh? WOW. Telling you the conversation was over…….. funny stuff.

    Hmmmmmmmmm, come to think of it, I do get a few strange looks myself when I pay at the drive thru with a tattooed wrist and Family Force Five blaring out of my piece of junk minivan.

  • http://thinkingtoodeeply.blogspot.com Karin

    I wouldn’t have budged either – nothing personal. There could be a long line behind me who want me to move, five passengers in the car who urge me GO, GO, GO, but I just need to see for myself – stubborn fool that I am!

  • http://www.sharlascroggs.blogspot.com sharla

    Those roller skate driving people are so skittish!!! Well, I would be too I guess if I was in something that may disintegrate at first touch. But I’m from Texas. We all drive SUV’s and big trucks with big tires. Tattoos are normal, and so is greasy food…and rednecks make up 90% of the population!

    I’d trust you!

  • http://aspiretoleadaquietlife.blogspot.com A Simple Country Girl

    Oh my land! Does this harken back to the story of you holding the door for miss prissy at the mall?

    Now, if I was next to you in my big ole Dodge with mud flaps bigger than one of those roller-skate cars, I woulda rolled down my window and asked you to pass me one of those onion rings!

    I always have images of putting one of those itty-bitty tin can cars into the bed of my diesel and standing in the shadows as the driver comes out to find their car relocated.

    Blessings.

  • http://www.jennifervdavis.com Jennifer Davis

    Oh, that was hilarious! Thank you for the laugh…and for making me really hungry!

  • http://www.herigns.blogspot Marni

    A comment–shocking, I know! But as always, I read, I just don’t always chime in because I’m a comment-slacker.

    The tat and Trace Adkins is what would have made me trust you. Around here, those are the really trustworthy people, so I assume it’s the same in your neck of the woods. Great post!

  • http://adifferentstory.net Lyla Lindquist

    I enjoyed this. And of course it’s nothing personal, it would be hard not to trust you, but dang, I’m a claims adjuster. So I don’t trust anybody on the highway. In my world, we call that the “sucker wave,” and I can’t tell you how many of those I’ve had to sort out where one guy waves, another guy drives, and the third guy drills him. (Most times, the waver drives off, though if we could find him we’d stick him with part of the tab for the damages. I’m guessing a fellow like you would stick around though, Billy.)

    Great post, Billy. Drive on.

  • http://www.endlessimpact.com jasonS

    Where to start with this post. You made me hungry first of all. Second, I would trust you because seriously what kind of monster would tell someone it’s all clear so they could watch them get smashed by oncoming traffic? That would just be weird. Those are some serious trust issues.

    Thanks for the smile today and another great post, Billy.

  • http://www.fordsbigbluehouse.blogspot.com melissa from the blue house

    Maybe she thought you were trying to wave her out there to see what would happen to her dumb little car if she got creamed by oncoming traffic.

  • http://alittleofthisandthat2.blogspot.com/ Dayle

    Oh my goodness, Billy. How ironic. The untrusting soul in the car, that I refer to as a rolling casket, trusts her car, but not you. Just speechless.

  • http://soulfari.blogspot.com/ Jay Cookingham

    Hmmm. maybe you and some of your redneck friends could have picked up the car and moved it for her! Thanks for the chuckle bro’

  • http://www.faithbarista.com Bonnie Gray | FaithBarista

    “All I know is that when I finally manage to pull out five minutes later, she takes off the same time I do. ”

    I hate it when that happens! aarrrgghh… Like, what’s up dude (or lady)?!

    Trace Adkins … c’mon… that’s family man music! :)

  • http://whiteplatonicdreams.blogspot.com/ T. Anne

    You are SO sweet! You can be my traffic cop anytime! However, I suppose she didn’t know if your version of clear was a car coming up five seconds away, or clear-clear. I get it. The Lord tells me it’s clear quite a bit and still I hesitate to believe him on occasion. I’m ashamed to admit it and I wish it wasn’t so, and I don’t even have a good excuse except for the fact I’m human in that regard. Great post. You’ve got me thinking, as usual.

  • http://godsheart-heart2heart.blogspot.com Kat

    Billy,

    Great story and if your right along side me, there will be no arguing just a sincere offer of thanks, a genuine smile and wave!

    Wanted to wish you a great weekend!

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  • http://www.nebraskagraceful.blogspot.com Michelle DeRusha @ Graceful

    This happens to me a lot — this lack of trust — in driving, life and faith.Jesus says go ahead, trust Me…and I wait to see what’s around the bend.

  • http://www.freakinangels.blogspot.com Kim

    Had a good chuckle at this one, Billy!

  • http://theunknowncontributor.blogspot.com/ TUC

    Huh, I wonder if she didn’t trust your judgement (as in you are a guy with a big faster vehicle so your “go” might not be the same as her “go”) or did she think you might actually set her up to have an accident? It is a little odd that she didn’t ask you to clarify your “go” which does make me wonder if she thought you looked a bit ominous with your grumpy mood and greasy chin.

  • http://verymuchlater.com jake

    “Her car is one of those tiny little things that seem to run on a mixture of electricity and the hippie vibrations of Mother Earth”

    That comment brought me so much joy. That said, I drive what feels like an itty-bitty car, having once drove an F-150 (I miss it) and I get caught in that same situation on numerous occasions… but I would like to think that someone wouldn’t wave me out in order to get me into an accident, so the Orange Rocket (my wonderful car) and I would have motored out at a nice gesture like that!!

    Way to be, too bad. . . she had . . . trust issues :)

  • http://angiemizzell.com Angie Mizzell

    I’m enjoying these comments as much as your post. My guess is that she has a husband like mine, who always tells me not to go even if someone is waving me on. (I don’t listen though)

  • http://www.cdposey.com Posey

    I am so that lady.

  • Barbara Frazier

    Love it, love it, love it!!! I’m sitting here cracking up at your post and all the comments. I never knew your town had a rush hour until I tried to get out of 7-11 one evening about 5:30. Thought I was in New York City!